Thank you for taking the time to write this all down, there's a lot of feedback here I haven't received before. Coincidentally I'm following a new playthrough of LSS right now. As Huntleo is going through the story, I'll keep your points in mind. It's been a while since I've touched LSS and this'll be a great opportunity to give it an overview in a new light.
Note: When I mentioned adding or reworking stuff in scenes, I mean changes done in older patches of the game.
I agree with the critique that the E1 setup is being too quickly dismissed in favor of an E3 outcome, I even had the first chapters reworked to make it less so. A culprit of that may be that LSS was kinda improvised as I went along, with the intro of the game being my starting point... And E3 being my favorite ending. With the full story framework laid out, it'd make for a fun exercise imagining how things could be circumvented, and consequences of E1 made more severe. I'll be taking a second look at MOT to see how I'm faring on that front, though I think you'd enjoy it far more already. As for LSS, I'll just let it rest, especially because translation would make any writing changes far too time-consuming now.
I think the reason why Trish's story ended up as well as it does is 'cause it was written last lol. By then I had a better grasp of the characters and the story, while all throughout LSS I was still learning and growing accustomed with the cast. Funny considering Curtain Call is one of the chapters I've had the most gripes with (Trish could be defending herself more in the final confrontation, Wren and her dad have shallow characterization, the first half of the story drags on for far too long etc.). You also make a good point on Spears's opinion on Fang's and Trish's friendship, I don't think I'd write it that way nowadays either.
Naser's wing does end up being a counter-argument quite often in the story, true. I'd disagree that it magically makes people forget and forgive, that'd be a gross oversimplification. Naser still wants to avoid Fang in spite of the revelation and has to be convinced by her reaching out to him, it takes Naomi three separate scenes to slowly change her mind, and even after the time skip she's still mulling over the consequences of her actions. Buuuut I do think Anon could have had more aces up his sleeve. This all stems from me not doing more with E1. Again, curious how you'll view my take on the cast in E2.
Sorry about Naomi, she'd always been a pain in the ass for me to draw lol, you should see the older version
Again, a good point with the post-army skip! Anon quite literally says during his 1:1 with Lucy: "I don't get the luxury of being saved from my own mistakes twice. I should've learnt my lesson the first time.". And well...he did learn it the first time.
The way I justified the injury isn't in the story, but it is in my notes. His work as a combat engineer and the damage are all an allegory to how he handled E1. "A sapper is only wrong once", and Anon was wrong once already. There's no catching lighting in a bottle a second time, it's karmic punishment for how he treated Fang until his course correction. But, then again, this allegory is kinda wasted with how quickly everyone becomes friends again, and how competent Anon ends up being.
Tell you what, regarding the Samantha backhand, I even recall realizing the inconsequence of it myself. While I added some more dialogue to address it in chapter 8 and 9, I agree that it should have had far more presence in the rest of the story. Technically it gets resolved when they all get together to see Ripley in the hospital, but it literally happens off-screen and is relegated to a summary from Anon. Deadass, I'm not sure what I was smoking writing that. To that end, the hospital conversation between Sam and Ripley could have addressed the more, too. I had a particular idea in mind here (Sam covers up the abuse so her already fracturing family doesn't fracture even more, which only made things worse when the truth spilled out), but it should have had far more to it.
Long story short, good points all around! If I didn't know what's good for me, I'd rework LSS (again), but I'll just stick to working on MOT instead. I'm eager to hear what you'll have to say about it once it's out.