itch.io

  I liked the story enough to finish it. I do think it was lacking conflict and I was lacking personality. For all of the questions none of them had exciting or meaningful impacts. You could remove most of the questions and have the same outcome. I understand the reason for the questions is to build immersion make me feel like I live in the town, but the writing is not strong enough for that. You never once mentioned the smell of the ocean or the smell of anything. We made dinner and I don't know how it tasted. There are no sharp edges. Everything is vaguely pleasant. I would have killed for one character who does not like me. An old woman I wronged as a child, but don't remember how, telling Melanie I am a bad person and that she should avoid me leading to a conversation about making mistakes. Melanie has feeling about her family, but they are not 100% positive so we are not going to explore that. In one choice I said I was always outside, but then I said I was shy and suddenly I was always inside. It is a good story, but it is not great. And that is fine. I am not saying you should strive to be the best writer in the world. I enjoyed my time with this story. Given the subject matter it would feel wrong to ask for more.