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(+2)
  • Inspiration on point. Love how clearly and concisely you called these out. Easy for me as reader/rater to understand.
  • Immaculate vibes. 
    • Very cool premise.
    • Gorgeous art/map/aesthetics.
    • Consistent tone.
    • Great delivery of exposition (to players) through omen tables, rumors etc.
    • "Umbrella Lugosi" got a chuckle out of me.
  • Usability: Great.
    • Great, escalating (?) random encounter table.
    • Excellent formatting throughout. Easy to read, love the monster stats in the side margins (?). Great use of space, easy to use for GMs.
    • Interesting use of keywords at the beginning of area descriptions!
    • It may be embedded throughout, but I think it would have been nice to get an overview of the adventure at the beginning. I don't think we learn who Malory is until a bit later. We get references to her, via other characters, but she's not listed in the factions section (I know space was probably an issue). I think you're trying to give exposition more organically (which I can appreciate), but I personally would prefer a short section on "here is the definitive version of what happened just before this and what's happening in the dungeon now". As the GM, I don't want to have to piece this together as I'm reading through. Maybe just a personal preference thing.

Great job, dude! I could easily see this entry winning the whole thing. Well done!

You know, it was originally there, but then I put in the art for the hole and had to remove some of that explanation of who Malory/Count was. So that's well noticed. Definitely could use like 4 more pages.