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You have a good start here i didn't notice any glaring flaws or anything though i did notice an odd grammatical mistake, you wrote: "rather sooner then later" a couple of times, it should be: "sooner rather then later" it's a small thing but it reads better.

Other then that you have an interesting premise and so far the characters we've met have been interesting even if we haven't really spoken to them much yet

(+6)

I think it works both ways, it's probably a dialect difference, but it should be 'than' not 'then'