This was cool! You taught me that voice narrative can add a lot of immersion / tone setting. The background noise (beeps and blips etc) really added a lot to the atmosphere too. I replayed it to try the alternative lines which was enjoyable. I am surprised how much I liked the fact you used black and white - it kinda detracts from the whitebox aesthetics and makes it all feel more intentional.
I did notice the look down and up felt a bit unusual - its mostly that you move forward and down as you look down I think?
Really glad you got involved in the jam, that was cool!