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(+1)

Sorry, I couldn't enjoy this game.

The text is clearly written by AI, and it shows in the countless stale metaphors ("air thick with lost dreams", "memories ... fragmented, like reflections in a broken mirror"). I quickly grew tired of reading the text -- why would I, if 75% of the words are worthless AI slurry that adds nothing whatever. I also hated how the narration kept trying to tell "Me" what emotions I'm feeling. You should've just focused on describing the POV character's sensations, and leave it to the reader to decide how he feels.

Example: "A soft creak echoes as You push it open, and you step into the city of the world that once thrived beyond these walls. The chill in the air bites at your skin, but with it comes the familiar tingle of possibility." Half of these words don't add anything, or even mean much (doesn't "city of the world" strike you as awkward? why is the "tingle of possibility" familiar? what "possibility" are we talking about here? etc.)

I'm afraid I gave up on playing this very quickly, because the AI text was unpleasant to read, and it didn't seem like anything interesting was going to happen story-wise. I did, however, stumble into a puzzle ("Type the name of the symbols"...) which was unsolvable unless you could read the author's mind - or did I miss a hint somewhere?

I did quite like the graphics, though. I liked that they represented the old style of AI generated art, impressionist and dreamlike rather than trying hard to ape human artists.

(+1)

Sorry about that, and thank you for taking the time to give such detailed feedback.

I completely understand your frustration with the writing. I’m not a native English speaker, so I relied on AI to help “polish” the story, and unfortunately that resulted in exactly the kind of overwrought, generic phrasing you’re describing. Reading it back now, I agree it ended up feeling awkward, vague, and emotionally prescriptive in ways that hurt the experience rather than helping it.


Thanks again for the honest critique. It’s genuinely helpful, and I’ll take it into account if I revise or make something similar in the future.

(+1)

Thanks for the response, and I'm glad you haven't taken it personally. Good luck in your future work.