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(3 edits) (+14)(-4)

some constructive criticism, shall we? :)

the character designs are well-made; points to that. but story-wise, character-wise, and dialogue-wise, it all feels... lacking in some sort of way. keeping it real chat i had a bit of a hard time pulling through this one (but as dev pointed out, this is a work in progress and only the first update)

let's start off with the protagonist - 'us'. the mc feels too much like a y/n from those  wattpad fanfics. they come across as overly emotionally reactive, unnecessarily enthusiastic, and almost... too girly (despite this being a supposedly gender-neutral MC). the backstory of the mc - someone who comes from a good family and OBVIOUSLY has money, decides that they want to 'become independent' so they... decide to move to the city and work a minimum wage job as a barista. but also their parents are paying for their (outrageously luxurious-looking) apartment, which... ironically, takes away the entire point of them wanting to become more independent. lol. 

it doesn't add up. and it feels downright unrealistic and, by extension, grossly inaccurate since... well, when has a rich person realistically ever thought/acted like this? i can't help but feel there was a much better way to approach and set up the MC's backstory.

the supporting characters in the game come across as not only one-dimensional and overly enthusiastic (which, frankly, gets annoying along the way), but it also feels like their sole purpose in the game is to serve / help the MC in some sort of way, rather than play an actual role in the game. for example, our boss. 

of course, not all barista bosses have to be assholes, and it's not impossible to catch a good and kind one out there, but the way her character is presented feels too motherly, and she acts more like a friend, which essentially takes away her professionalism and authority as our boss. especially if you take into account that the MC has just started working there for a couple of weeks. (two weeks if im not mistaken?)

moving on to the dialogue (and what is the biggest issue for this VN in my opinon), it is OVERWHELMINGLY repetitive. it follows a pattern of "(character says one line of dialogue)" [long descriptive description that brings much of nothing] "(another single line of dialogue)" [another overwhelming and unnecessary description].

with this we learn nothing new or useful of the world or its characters, as all the dialogue ever does is state the already obvious. the descriptie lines seem to serve more as empty fluff than actual important information that is relevant to the story. there is also the issue of  "it's not just..." being used an overwhelming amount of times, which gets repetitive and tiring as the story goes along. 

overall, although the concept/idea of this vn is unique and seems interesting, its rather poor execution takes anything away from it. rather than glazing the game because it has a few hot, fuckable-looking characters in it, it would help more if we could pay more attention to the actual characters, storyline, and dialogue and critique all of them more constructively. 

but i also understand this is not the final product, and of course, improvements would be made along the way. no art project starts off perfect, and what is important is that we are able to spot our lacking areas and improve upon them. i wish the creators and dev luck, i hope the final version of this turns out how you envisioned it :]

(+3)

I love your criticism! I was wondering if you had any visual novel recommendations that would fit on what’s lacking in this one?

(+5)(-2)

don't know what vns you've played, but i'll recommend you some of my favorites where i've really come to enjoy not only the characters but plot as well! hope you do end up checking out some :3

To Eat a God by Soffis_mbm ! it's my fav vn novel because it goes beyond just a romance game; the concept is spectacular, all the characters and their designs are unique, and the WORLDBUILDING simply pulls you in. it's a biggie but has lots of dif routes to explore ! :D i especially hope you give this one a play! <3

Watch the Road (DEMO) by mirawakestudios is a great one too. here, the writing and atmosphere really shine through, and if i had to describe it very briefly, it would be 'the nostalgia and melancholy we feel on cold, snowy nights. wouldn't you like to have a deep, long conversation with a stranger and spill your guts?' it's a really lovely (almost poetic) work in progress with lots of alternative endings too, so def worth a check out :3 !

The Winter Wedding by devilinlovegames has been a recent fav of mine - i've personally never seen the concept of the omegaverse used in a vn before so it really drew me in. it has mystery and horror elements with it and is set in a victorian gothic era so it's a very interesting work to check out! 

this one isn't a romance vn, but i'll just add it here because it's a masterpiece on its own: Do NOT Take This Cat Home by Pixeliminal. it's about taking (or not) a seemingly cute cat home. mixes cuteness with horror elements very well; the original music has similar vibes to weirdcore / liminal spaces AND has a very thoughtful and almost unexpected deep message at the end. 

would geniously love to hear what u think if u ever decide to check any of these out! anyways happy playing Dore :D

(+4)

Hello Toe Stealer!

I don't usually comment due to college work + real life matters but I really enjoy your thoughts on this but...

Speaking from my perspective as a developer, I genuinely value criticism and feedback on my work. However, I feel as if this criticism isn’t well-executed, as the tone comes across more like a rant than constructive critique.


You make valid points regarding the game’s execution, and I want to acknowledge that those criticisms are being taken seriously.


It’s also important to note that, at the start of this project, it was just me and Seven working on the game. Despite that, our goal has always been—and continues to be—to improve the overall experience.


Since the earlier versions, I’ve been actively revising and improving the dialogue, narrative flow, and presentation. The project is now backed by a larger team, allowing us to refine the writing, improve the art, and strengthen the game as a whole.


That said, from a developer’s standpoint, feedback is most productive when it’s delivered in a way that encourages discussion and growth. Even valid points can lose their impact when wrapped in sarcasm or dismissive language.


Constructive criticism is always welcome, and we’re committed to learning and improving with each iteration. Ultimately, the goal is to create a stronger experience—and respectful, clear feedback is what helps us get there.

(1 edit)

thank you for the reply, i appreciate it ^^

i read your comment and see your point— for calling it constructive criticism, it does feel too heated lol. i'll change it so it doesn't sound too 'mean' or 'rude' as that wasn't my intention while writing it. 

i hope the work of your vn comes along smoothly with the extra help you are now getting :]