Typos:
Fairy at the start of the game says achiving
On the choices talking to demon there is a "better then"
Saying Wild Men to Angel, it answers with Carpe Dium, which I'm very inclined to believe was meant to be Carpe Diem, but disregard it if intentional.
Question:
Choosing to shoot joy has no gunshot and the text goes saying it steps away, but the dialogue it says implies (to me) that it is accepting that you'll kill it and just openly taking the shot. Did I interpret the tone wrong?
Review:
I think Dennis and Ending 5 Variation 1 were pretty interesting events, and the player character's past and future is intriguing, so I appreciate the two main characters to say the least.
Me-ism and Deer given the chance to be reocurring could also grow on me, I think. If the game expanded, I think a good approach would be killing, letting in and shooing away, killing ending a story there, while letting in and shooing open different branches (letting in being a domino effect and shooing letting the character revisit later and allow you to continue their plotline).
Spare Llulla route when, Pharaoh?
Not letting suspicious elements in not resulting in a different conclusion is a bit upsetting, many choices resulting in the same dialogues ditto, so as a VN I can't praise it too much, since I'd rather it just be static except for the bad end choices. Demon in particular, when you say "sounds better than here" still reacts as if you're refusing him, and then angel praises your steadfastness, so it feels very incongruent. Fairy talking about his crown seems like setup for how shooting him in the head ought to lead somewhere, but it wasn't the case either.
SFX-wise, I only wish characters had footsteps (it's unintentionally quite comedic when fairy just zooms away on the first night) and thus some characters that arent really walking could stand out as even more uncanny.
Art: lovely. the eyes and skin are such normal inspections while the mouth is so borderline fetishistic really transmits well how invasive it is to inspect someone's mouth as opposed to the rest. As gameplay it didn't feel very flexible, but artistically and narratively, it was used very well.
(I read the page better as I wrote this, and now I presume it isn't a project you'll continue working on going forward, so my criticisms on expanding the game may be worthless presently, but a worth a penny in a future project, deo volente.)