Dear BlueDash and Coffee,
I trust this message finds you both in good health and high spirits.
For a period of 6 years at this point, I have awaited *that* GoodbyePage update. Over the years, I have submitted numerous letters to your post boxes. I have also tried following you on the streets and asking for the update directly, although i have stopped the attempts following that regrettable incident involving you throwing rocks at me. However, I want you to know - I need you to know - that I am still waiting.
This is my final message. I ask you kindly to release the Gun update, allowing me the pleasure of shooting at geometry forms. I respectfully request that this feature be implemented within one week of you receiving this message..
In exchange for your cooperation, I shall continue to promote your game within my facebook group chat comprising of myself and 3 elderly ladies. Should this request go unfulfilled, however, I must inform you that December 14th, 2026, will mark the swift and sorrowful conclusion of your life upon this sphere we call Earth.
With utmost admiration and loyalty,
Temi