The writing is really, really great. I enjoyed that dialogue with the boss a lot. I know you wrote you are not a writer so I have to say great opener. The graphics are very good!! The way you got a 3d FPS to work smoothly is sweet!
We had relatively similar gameplay mechanics in mind.
I would have made the tutorial part more bright personally because I had trouble seeing things on my monitor (mostly my monitor being dark).
I love that it says "you failed to satisfy your manger when you get killed". lol
I delivered a package and fought the machines (repaired them) but I didn’t know if I did good or not. It wasn’t clear if I completed all the objectives and finished the level or not.