I really love the setting, the lore, I can tell there's something there, not on Eternum level but possibly around cosy cafe/ripples like a damn good story..
But holy CRAP hire a proofreader, I thought companion of darkness grammar and spelling issues was rough, it's nigh indecipherable most of the time. Like the characters are having two different conversations, it jumps all over the place, you include the Chinese sayings which are cryptic as hell haha..i even asked my wife who's from Guangzhou and she had no idea wtf it meant 😆
Entire scenes like meeting the sister or entering VR, banter between the characters feels so confusing and bizarre, & they go from new coworkers to lovers instantly
The translation itself seems fine..it's just the syntax, the structure of sentences, I feel like there's some bizarre second step in between, like you translated it from mandarin to Finnish and then into English or something.
Seriously, just an alpha reader or two, someone to rework some of the script, it would do wonders, I really want to like this and totally want it to succeed. I see old comments also mentioning this, so hopefully it's just an issue early on