Interesting story concept, and I like the idea of the night and day tracks. While the aura of both of your tracks fit into that for the most part, it feels like the night track is a bit lacking in activity. It's not quiet, as the piano does give it some amount of intensity; but the track as a whole doesn't feel like it has a lot going on. What is there in both tracks is pleasant, just not really enough to give me any sort of concrete vibes in any particular direction.
A different approach might even just be to give what is there some space - some well placed rests or even some creative volume automation could highlight the higher piano notes or bring some ambience out. There's a lot of notes jammed into tight spaces in both tracks, without a lot of room to breathe for any of the instruments. I for one have been particularly guilty in doing this myself - trying to cram a bunch of *stuff* into a small area, timewise. It can sound really cool and be really satisfying when a lot of things are playing at one time. When you fill your entire song with that, however, it can make things feel cramped or not give the song enough range to bring out it's themes and emotions properly.