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(+1)

Thank youuuu Beth for the long, long comment. Actually, I really enjoy your lot of text, your taking the time and energy to tell me about all this. It feels really good and rewarding as the author of the work, so please never worry about that, okay? Even if it was a critique, I trust you to not being mean. 

You've said so many kind things, thank you. I am so amused that I "got you" as you said, because I was really like "this is not a game, this isn't not game-y enough" the whole time to my partner. I clung to the format of d6-friendly roll tables for my life, even it was clearly holding me back... But I'm glad I did, because I feel like in the end the result looks cohesive and game-y enough, you can barely tell the places where I stopped and paced around the room while flailing wildly. 

And yeah, for me a lot of the work is based the idea that there's no "should". There's no "you should/should not feel this or that way" that can lead to lessening your suffering, because you need to be OK with where you are first, as in, you need to have that compassion and acceptance for yourself first. And that means being OK with "not being OK with not being OK" and such. So many layers of shame and self-judgement to gently peel and wash away. It's a lot of work. If my little piece can help anyone towards that, I would be very happy. 

It made me very happy to read that you planned on coming back to this when you were not feeling better yourself. I really hope it will help you then. Please do feel free to reach out to me directly as well.

I love that it inspired you to make your own spin on this! I highly encourage you to do so. Please show it to me when you're done, okay? I would be super excited to have a look at it. 

I love the idea of the worksheet too! It's what I meant to do with the Quick Fixes at the beginning, I wrote them almost last, like, "if someone is having A Really Acute Bad Time when they read this, they're not going to care about all my ramblings on safety, powerlessness, and why I hate CBT". And in the end they're not Quick at all, but hopefully they're Fixes anyway (not that I agree with the idea that anything needs "fixing" but sometimes you've been writing for three days and "quick fix" is the only phrase that comes to mind). So as I work on a fancy-formatted version that can even be printed into a zine (omg it's going to be so long as a zine, but I digress) I am definitely going to keep that in mind and try to create that alongside it. I will send it to you when I'm done! You can tell me what you think then, if you'd like.

It's true that our issues are very different, because I hate the idea that I owe anything to anyone, I find it more upsetting than anything else, and I struggle with being crushed under the expectations, like... even just thinking about "living ethically" or "in alignment with my values", what am I doing? I am not doing enough, I am not doing enough to help all those causes, the children starving as we speak, the burning forests, the oppressed people everywhere! So, as you can imagine, telling myself I am harming the world... will not help :p No, I have the opposite thing, where I find selfishness and possessiveness very empowering and self-affirming. This is my life, and I deserve to live it my way, that sort of things. The fact that my way implies "everyone's needs are being met" is sort of secondary :p

(+1)

I know there are people who would be like "this is not a game," and honestly they wouldn't think MOST of what I make and call games are games either. We're reclaiming what makes a game a game, dang it!

I totally get that about "have to"/"should"... Obligation is the #1 source of my issues. To the point where, if I'm obligated to be a way, everyone should be. So everyone else who fails these standards (that aren't even really mine) is ALSO a failure, and I'm valid in my disappointment. It's easier to be like "they don't deserve that, so this is invalid" than "I don't deserve that, so this is invalid."

And I also get it about "fixes." Like... it took a long time to be convinced my depression isn't something to fix, it's something to warn me that I'm not living right. And so I have to "fix" that, even if the other ways are also valid. Someone once said that labels are more powerful than (I can't remember the word, so I'll use "cliches" here) because a label is self-applied: I'm trans, I'm bipolar, I'm old lol. A cliche (or whatever the word they used, which was better) is applied to others: they're bipolar so they can't handle emotions, they're trans so be careful with pronouns, they're old so they can't handle things. Labels allow us to take power, to express deep things quickly, to associate with others; cliches put us into boxes against our will.

The point there is that I think fix is the same: when a doctor says "you should lose weight," it's far less powerful than me sitting here like "I would really love to have more energy, and I think eating better and exercise might help with that." Being told that I can fix my depression by just not being sad is stupid and insulting; realizing I can avoid depression by enjoying life more and taking breaks is empowering. As long as we come up with the fix, as long as we control how and when we use it, it's great :D 

And goodness, yeah, you absolutely covered all of my struggles in that last paragraph there. And it's weird, because your mindset is actually the fix to a lot of mine! Focusing more on myself, taking what I need (not from others lol, just like taking breaks, etc), living in a way that feels genuine to me ("I'm shaving my face because the facial hair irritates me, not because it's not feminine to have a beard")... it all overcomes my internalized struggles. So even if our issues stem from opposing places, we do converge :D

I will definitely let you know if I make something based on this, and would LOVE to know if/when you do more with it! 

- ✨Beth