Hello! Welcome to Feedback Quest 8! My name's Hythrain, a co-host and one of the streamers for this event! This feedback is being written live as I stream your game! If you're interested in seeing my live reaction, let me know and I can send you a link to the VOD once it's posted to YouTube!
But as someone who has been in FQ events multiple times with this title, you know this. Hello umineko!
So real story, I had planned to play more of this than I had in previous jams; I had two hours before my planned end stream time (which I'm currently 10 minutes over now) and thought I could do a lot more. What I didn't plan on was for me to just dive into looking at the places shown and named in the game and go over them with Google Maps and my own memory to do some strange sort of fact check. Not because I thought you were wrong, but because I wanted to keep track of movement and try to follow the adventure. I also spent a long time talking about my own personal knowledge of the locations, which ate a lot more time than I expected. For context, I got to the part where Zinnia was going to go to Hamilton. I'm pretty sure this is the same spot I got to in a previous playthrough.
With that said, I actually wrote down a lot of notes about various things... some that I feel pretty confident I've brought up in past FQ events but can't for the life of me remember if you ever addressed. All of my notes relate to either issues I have with the story being presented, places that I couldn't verify and am just curious to know about, or just things where I felt like there was something more interesting that could be done. I'm just going to go through my notes in order, starting with something I've always been meaning to ask but never have: are the songs you use original? The ones with singing. I mean, I'm pretty sure they are because I think it's the same voice actress you use for Zinnia, but I've always wondered. I'm also going to note, you probably don't need to repeat what places are in what provinces multiple times. I noticed this particularly when it came to mentions of Ottawa.
Now for the real notes. My first question is in regards to what you refer to as Zinnia's hometown. She says it's Montreal, but then this is immediately contradicted by the fact that Zinnia is original from a rural town in Northern Ontario. Unless she left that place at, like, a few years old, I feel like that place should be what she calls her hometown because... that's kind of what a hometown is. For the vast majority of people, one's hometown is the place they were born or grew up. It sounds like Zinnia did spend a significant portion of her childhood, possibly even going into her teenage years before she moved to Montreal. This would make this Northern Ontario town make more sense as her hometown, at least to me.
My next note is something I feel confident I've brought up... how old is Zinnia supposed to be exactly? I've always had this idea that she was a teenager and possibly not even of age yet. Because of this, I've always been bothered with how the story sets up her adventure, where someone who is essentially still a child just runs away from home to go on said "adventure" because she thinks that if she doesn't then she never will and her childhood dream would die. There are so many problems with this, from legal issues to financial issues to downright safety issues. Like, I can detail so many reasons why this is not only just a stupid idea but how she simply wouldn't be able to do it. I won't detail these right now, because there's so many and I don't want this comment to just purely be about this one issue. However, there are so many problems here and I feel like I've brought it up before.
Next, I just want to point out that Zinnia calling all of this an "opportunity" she was "given" is just the most incorrect thing ever. This was not something she was "given," because that would imply she has the consent of her adoptive mother and said adoptive mother is helping her. This is something she's forcing and it's something I feel like she needs to recognize and admit to even if she can be air-headed.
The next note is actually in regards to time, specifically the time of the train ride from Montreal to Ottawa. In game, Zinnia says it's been 3 and a half hours since she left Montreal. However, I've done this train ride a few times and it doesn't take that long to go from Gare Centrale to Ottawa Station unless there are delays (and I'm pretty sure you're not writing in delays like that happening). It'd be more appropriate to be just over 2 hours to 2 and a half hours. Now if you're saying it's been 3 and a half hours since she left her house, that I'd find more acceptable and in that case the wording needs to be changed to make it clear you mean since she left her house and not since she left Montreal.
Ok, this one is a pure curiosity note. What museum in Gatineau did she want to go to? While I was following the story via maps and checking the museums around, I couldn't see any sort of free of charge museum in the area of where she was. In fact, the only museum I saw in the air (which doesn't appear to be free of charge) was the Canadian Museum of History, which I'd argue isn't a museum on local history.
The next item on the list is more of a writing error. Shortly after Zinnia gets to Toronto and she's trying to figure out where to go, she says "I spy a spot that's open 24 hours..." However, this is then followed by her checking her phone for nearby establishments. Either way, something here is messed up. I'm also going to include this here, but if she's using her phone to check for places nearby then she clearly has a smart phone and is using something like Google Maps. In that situation, wouldn't the app indicate if the place is supposed to be open? Of course, I do acknowledge that it can be an issue of "Well, perhaps something happened and the store had to be closed down or perhaps the map app isn't up-to-date and either hours have changed or the place has closed down," but in that case I'd say Zinnia should make a note of this reasoning.
Ok, here's where we're now going to get into consistency issues as my next note is about the location of Cafe 6ix (real quick, great name. To reference the 6ix means you either listen to Drake or you have knowledge of local terms and how many Torontonians refer to Toronto as the "416" or 6 for short (416 is the primary area code in Toronto). So you say that the cafe is located on "university grounds" and later say it's right beside dorms. This would likely be the University of Toronto. However, Zinnia goes to Dupont Station. This is a full station stop past the closest station to the University of Toronto when taking the One Line. The best station for her to get off would be Spadina Station. I also did a check and there's not even any buildings labelled as part of a university or college that are closer to Dupont Station than they are to Spadina Station.
My next note is in regards to several dialogue lines that show a symbol to say they have spoken lines but simply don't. The first instance of this is when Zinnia tells the barista of Cafe 6ix that she's leaving.
... Okay, so... I want to just say that my next two notes involve a lot of capital letters. In order to maintain how I felt during these moments, I'm going to make use of some all caps during these. Note that this is supposed to be more on a comedic level. Ahem...
ZINNIA, WHY ARE YOU GOING SO FAR AHEAD THAT YOU CAN'T HEAR WHAT THE PERSON GUIDING YOU IS SAYING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! STOP THAT! GET SOME HELP! AND ALSO STAY WITH THE PERSON WHO OFFERED TO HELP YOU, YOU DUMMY!
Also, really? Jamaican patties? You had the perfect set-up to do a reference to the utterly amazing BeaverTails and you didn't take it?! IT'S LITERALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER (based on what I assume is the movement) AND STANDS RIGHT OUT, BUT YOU DID JAMAICAN PATTIES?! HAVE YOU NOT HAD ONE?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! STOP THAT! GET SOME HELP! I MEAN, SURE, I GET IT, I HEAR ALL SORTS OF STUFF ABOUT HOW THE JAMAICAN PATTIES IN TORONTO ARE AMAZING, BUT THESE ARE ALWAYS ABOUT THE ONES FROM FOOD TRUCKS AND NOT FROM CONVENIENCE STORES! BUT THEY'RE BEAVERTAILS, SOMETHING THAT IS FAR MORE CANADIAN FITTING THAN JAMAICAN PATTIES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Okay, I got that all out now.
My next note is in regards to what is likely a typing error. Zinnia plans to go to Toronto Island using the ferry, which she says is "four blocks to the west" of where she is. Now I'll say upfront, this confused the crap out of me as when I tried to plot out the route Zinnia was taken to get to Harbourfront, she likely would've ended up right by where vehicles drive in to board that same ferry. It would've been not even a block to the west to get to the terminal entrance for people on foot. I know this because I've taken that very ferry myself. Now you may be asking why this is a problem? It's because the image you show at the time of Zinnia saying "four blocks to the west" is, in fact, four blocks to the west of that very same terminal! She would need to go four block to the EAST to reach the ferry. The only ferry to her west (again, based on the picture) would be the ferry that takes people to the island's airport where there's no way to get further onto the island. So this is a long way of saying that Zinnia should say that the ferry is to the east of her and not the west.
Alrighty, now time for my last note: when Zinnia mentions that her adopted mother had to pay tuition for her. Now I'll admit that I'm not as familiar with education in Quebec as I am in Ontario, but I'm 99% certain that Quebec has a public education system just as Ontario does and that it goes up through high school; there shouldn't be a tuition. The only way that would apply is if Zinnia went to a private school. This, admittedly, would make sense given that her high school friends wear uniforms and I don't know of any public school that has uniforms. I've only seen uniforms from private schools and from religious schools. That said, if money is apparently so tight for Zinnia's mother then why in the world is she in a private school? Also, if Zinnia's plan for her going on her adventure was to remove that cost from her mom then boy is she going to be surprised to learn that that's not how it works with private schools. They're still going to try and make her mom pay because by accepting Zinnia they didn't accept someone else who would've also paid that tuition. However, now they can't get that student they turned down and thus can't get that money, so they're still going to come after her mom for the money. Now her mom has to deal with both that cost AND the fact that her daughter ran away from home.
And that's all the notes I got. When I get the chance (and if I remember), I'll add a reply detailing all of the issues regarding Zinnia's actions that really, REALLY need to get addressed.
