This is hilarious lol NOT ELMO! Elmo did nothing wrong!
But totally trust what the politician has to say about this case. They know their glue stick lore.
imagine if I got away with it though. The insanity that I would need to pull to attempt to make reasonable sounding answer would have been hilarious.
Also, I tried again in a solo run after they left. Punched a guy named John to death at an office party in front of 8 other people (it was over mario kart) and somehow had minimum suspicion the entire time, despite my fist-mark being in his cranium. 3 different -1 sus events.
I gave an officer a darwin award ahead of time, they found a known serial killer named James Box (Bond villain ripoff), convinced themselves that Merasmus being paid twenty bucks to dress up in a crappy gluestick costume meant he might've killed the guy over it (because all good wizards just rock their enemies with a good slam to the face)
Also the alibi to the officer that somehow believed I didn't do it was: “I… didn’t punch him. But if I were to, I would make a crater in his cranium.”
(he ignored the suspiciously FIST SHAPED CRATER in the dead man's skull, somehow)
Got the plot twist: that was the eighth guy named John that I beat out of life, presumably over mario kart or something just as petty. Got home scot free despite having made zero attempt to remove the john-laced evidence all over my hands.
"If the fist does not fit, you must acquit" - the jury, probably