Thank you for your comment it helped more than you know. I would like to give it one more shot at this, especially since someone has offered to help as a guide with coding Twine.
I thank the critic for pointing out the errors, though I understand that I can't make everyone happy. So I stopped caring. Only reason I was close to giving up was because they noted the concept was really the only good thing about it. My faith in my work was already precarious since the day I posted it.
I didn't want to mention this since I felt it wasn't much of an achievement before on my behalf, but I remember that the mayor of our city personally met with me along with 4 other students after reading a prologue I once wrote for a story back in high school. We were selected out of the several in various writing classes and invited to a dinner party to receive an award. Just like this one, not everyone would have liked that story, and that's fine. All I have to say to them is this- show me your professionally Twine story I'll gladly shut the fuck up. Currently I see none on your page. English isn't my first language either, but I didn't use that as an excuse not to try. Anyways, they know that if they don't like it they don't have to return for the next update. Nonetheless I thank them for taking the time they wasted on reading this far.
I'm grateful that a very good friend of mine, Carolina, pointed this out to me. I would have never seen the responses on this since I had been avoiding it like the plague. I thank Carolina, Hopelight2000, and BeastInTheCave sincerely since they all helped to restore my motivation. The next update will be to honor you guys for encouraging me when I needed it most.