I love this not only because I know the reference and the song, but also because you made a whole Myth out of it!

A tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme.

Hardened baguette (3d8)

I think this speaks to the heart of what Gary Gygax meant when he said, "If a golfer who insists on playing during a lightning storm gets hit by a stroke of lightning and is killed nobody says, 'There's golfers dying by the droves being hit by lightning!'"

I enjoyed this quite a bit (aka did not chunder)

That was refreshingly fun to read,