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Systems are difficult to really rate without playing them. Very ambitious to create one in these space constraints. You avoided the temptation to cramp as much information as possible into these pages. I would need some more pages fleshing out the adventure to run it, but the skeleton is rock solid! 

Thanks! The irony is I'm probably going to end up doing that anyway when I expand it further with more pages, visuals would definitely help uncramp any potential stuffing though.