Hey again!
Spelling errors and oddities:
in 'You've been travelinng by yourself for a little while, your ship is pretty reliable huh?' you meant travelling.
'this world or galaxy is pretty expansive.' I feel like for this line, just "this galaxy is pretty expansive' is better. the world part could be made into a meta joke about SC1 taking place only on a single planet (I haven't actually looked at SC1, so I don't know if it actually does, lol) Like the narrative cuts himself off to like "this wor- oh right, galaxy"
'You were flying past an unmarked sector with about five planets in orbit'
Okay, this line is tricky because I don't know if the whole game is supposed to take place within this unmarked sector, or whether it's just be where the scraplands planet is located. So some clarity on that would be nice. I'll just assume you meant for this to be the the system the game is set in. My suggestion would be something like 'You were flying past an unmarked sector: a Class G star system with 5 detected planets and a number of planetoid-sized objects'
'Class G' is a star similar to our sun, btw. Obviously you could change it to be anything you wanted, but I think that fits fine. the 'numerous planetoid-sized objects' part let's you fudge the exact numbers if you want to add something like a space station or other planets beyond 5, as you can just say "oh this is a moon of one of the other planets!" Even if this is supposed to just be the system the scrapland planet is in, and the Hub planet is in another system, I think it adds something to the intro, but that's just my thoughts.
'lets make your character!' 'lets' should be 'Let's'
'Guess trying to sleeps off the table.' from waking up in bed on the ship 'sleeps' should be 'sleep's'
'Luckily you're unharmed, but your ship is in pretty bad condition.'
Just a general suggestion to break up the you're and your usage back-to-back, but perhaps this could be 'luckily you're unharmed, but the same can't be said about your ship." Up to you on this though, I think the line is generally find, I just kinda noticed that this time around.
'Theres some scattered documents on the ground? Read them?'
Should be 'There's' and the ? on 'ground?' should be a period instead.
'Gelatin orb of sorts. Became hostil and started attacking the searchers. Also exibited increas hormonal behaviors. More testing will be followed in the coming days.'
for some reason the last letters got cut off on 'hostile' and 'increased''exibited' should be exhibited'
I know this is the spelling section but these documents are a great addition, by the way. The town should get some more, and perhaps Fox's hideout (Fox's diary could be accessible at a certain time of day?), as well as some more El Shark's HQ, the scrapyard could get some too, when you finish the dungeon.
'You stepped on a landmine and you blacked out.'
Again, just after reading this so many times, I think something like 'You stepped on a landmine and blacked out' reads better without having to resort to using 'you' twice.
'you get beat up and your stuff is stolen'
Again, sorry for hiding a suggestion in the spelling section, but the new expressions made me think this would be a funny moment. So instead of this text, it would be something like "You wake up in pain with welts all over your body" The PC has their "taken damage" face. A line like "Dammit, those jerks took your favorite and only gun!" The PC sprite has an angry expression. Followed by a blank ... line where the PC's sprite has a expression where their eyes look down at their now naked body. I don't really know what the next line could be, I thought something like "Gah! And your clothes too?! Those perverts!" with the PC making an embarrassed expression, ideally paired with the player's sprite attempting to cover itself in the moment. Granted, that makes the scene take a lot longer than the quick thing going on right now. Again, just a suggestion.
When Fox first speaks, she says 'cmon', which should be 'C'mon'
During Fox's chat, she says
'destroying a good ammount of the south.'
That should be 'amount''But you now what else'
From the SC1 meme in the ruined restaurant, 'now' should be 'know'
From the hidden lab room
'transsferred'
Should be transferred
'dirty look toda'
The 'y' got cutoff/left out
On the Hub planet
NPC in the cafe says 'restruant' instead of 'restaurant'
at the club NPC'Just practin my jam skills' practin should be practising.
Ideas:
When you interact with Tera-Byte after checking the engine, I thought it would be funny if they made a comment about you being naked, and making another comment when you're dressed. I also kind of feel like Tera-Byte could be a good option for a romance later on (after you get some kind of hardlight holo projector for them?) obviously being more on the teasing/humiliating end of the spectrum.
Fox shower scene:
Sadly, even with the wait option, I was not able to get this scene to trigger. I'm not sure whether this is a bug or not? I even tried waiting right outside the bathroom, but it didn't work.
The player should have a watch/clock to keep track of time.
Oh, and it seems like the knife skill is bugged. It will only "activate" after you have completed combat.
Anyway, that's all I have for now!