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This is some of the best feedback I've ever received. Thanks so much! All fair points and I'll be reflecting on them and updating some things based on that. Thanks again!

No problem! Would you mind if I reiterated and went over some plot points again? I went back to the game to re-read some of the details again to get a clearer picture of some plot points and see if I overlooked anything. I just don't want to spam the comment section if it's unwanted.

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All good. So far the points I see you bringing up are:

-Some grammar adjustments
-A bit more consistency in registering appearance of others
-More clarification on the need for hybridization
-Rework the catheter removal into something less upsetting
-Bring up how/why artificial insemination wouldn't be feasible (because it's true that it would be silly to have MC bang when they don't need to)
-MC being a suspect is a bit of a reach

If you have any further points or if I missed any please let me know. I've got them saved so I can refine/address. Thanks!

So, the whole HAF-UC conflict got me curious, though if I had to say something negative, it does feel like names and places are just thrown at the reader with only the bare minimum of context. Like, what exactly IS the HAF? Was it a political party? Did they take over the central cities willingly or by force? What ARE the central cities? Is the game set in one of these central cities? If so, are there any remnants of the war? How long ago was the war—10 years? 20 years? What WAS the war? Was it a conventional war or a "war on "terror"-style insurgency? Who are the United Countries, and what makes them united? Have Anthrosapients always existed, or are they a recent arrival?

One idea, which is probably dumb, was that since the player is human, he should have the option to pick what his stance on the HAF is. Negative or neutral would be easy enough to fit in now, but a positive option could have some interesting hooks with Bridgette. I don't think MC would straight up say, "Man, I loved those goofy terrorists," because he beats around certain tricky subjects in other choices, but him saying something like "Well, they had some good ideas/started from a good place" seems like what he'd say. I don't really know Bridgett's character well enough to say how she'd react to that, but story-wise, it would be funny if it coloured the romance with her if the player decides to, with her trying to "save" the player from his viewpoint. Like them going out to dinner, and the first thing she starts talking about is the player's opinion on the HAF.

It would be interesting if the option went beyond that and coloured other interactions, but that's a lot of work, and within the narrative, it being a 1-on-1 with Bridgett feels like it should stay limited to her (it could even factor into her being much MUCH more nervous/reluctant about sending the player to get the serum.)

Going over Bridgett's dialogue, the impression that I get is the real problem is that interspecies hybridization (which is to say, interspecies impregnation) CAN happen, but it's incredibly rare, and the serum is an attempt at making it work 100% of the time. Am I right on this?

I think what confused me is Bridgett starts by saying, "This is a problem for Anthrosapients," which caused me to zero in on that and then get confused when she brings up "this will affect everyone" later on.

It does bring up a point: if natural hybrids are possible, why aren't they the focus of the research, or at the very least, why isn't there a natural hybrid working at TGI? (Maybe this is a plot point for later?)

I went on this before, but the entire reveal about the serum in the player's bloodstream felt like it really hurt the vibe the game had established at that point. The setting of the player working at a laboratory trying to solve a big problem with a bunch of other people felt like something fresh, but then getting hit by "now you have to fuck all these people" felt like it muddled, even soiled that, especially just being told, "Oh, by the way, you can still work at the lab... I guess." Part of the problem is it just felt unrealistic. Imagine the same situation happened, but it was a life longevity serum. "Hey, congrats, it worked! Except now we have no idea how to make more or how we made it in the first place, but still, we did it!"

It feels like instead the tone/delivery should be "We now know what we're doing will have results, but we (we being the keyword here) have a lot of work to do to ensure this isn't just some fluke/one-in-a-million result."

I think that's part of the problem; it feels too celebratory/tone shifty when it really shouldn't, or at least not to the degree it shows.

Oh, this is kind of silly, but it would fit more if the date was hidden when the MC wakes up in the hospital and doesn't reveal that it's Monday until the nurse tells him he's been in a coma for a week.

Another feature that'd be nice and not one I see often in VNs with branching choices is a "map" that you unlock once you complete an ending that shows/hints at all the possible paths the player can take.

I didn't mention it before, but all of the characters are pretty great so far. I like that Mei is the only character out of the ones present that immediately tries to get into MC's pants. It makes her feel like a more interesting character, especially with Bridgett even giving you a warning about her behaviour. A lot of VN's would've gone out of their way to have a scene with both Bridgett and Sammy in that time frame, and I'm glad you chose not to do that. I love slow burn stuff like that!

Sammy (Squirrel, sorry if I misremembered her name) is probably my favourite character so far, followed by the Doberman cop (again, bad with names), though the bangs-eye covering waitress caught my eye as well.

I like Sammy mostly because of the what I was saying earlier about the whole "working together with people to save the world" vibe I got at the start, so I really hope working at the lab isn't treated like some optional afterthought and actually takes priority unlike the vibe I was getting.