Thank you very much for your honest and thoughtful comment. I'm glad you found the world beautiful and enjoyed the overall experience, even if certain elements felt lacking. I'd like to address your points one by one to provide more insight:
1. Kaal's negativity and emotional monotony:
Yes, Kaal is intentionally written to feel like a real person—flawed, weighed down, and emotionally closed off. His negativity doesn’t stem from just one rejection (as seen in Chapter 0 about job), but from a pattern of constant failure and loss. He pursued a difficult academic path with genuine passion, but reality repeatedly shut him down. The job rejection you saw was just the last of many.
He reached a point where even applying for unrelated work—jobs that felt like abandoning his dream—still resulted in rejection. So what you're seeing is someone who isn’t just sad, but deeply disillusioned. This part of his character will be explored in a flashback near the end of Chapter 2, which has already been planned.
2. Lack of hope / emotional flatness:
You’re absolutely right—he feels like someone stuck in place. But that's intentional. In the old world, Kaal had no hope left. The new world offers him something different—not idealistic or noble hope, but pragmatic hope—a chance to be useful again. You'll start to see that shift not long after Chapter 2. It won’t be sudden or dramatic, but it will happen.
3. Lack of clear character motivation:
Fair point. Some of Kaal's motivations are hinted at through his actions rather than internal monologue. That said, you're right that more explicit exploration could help the reader understand him better. I’ll work on bringing more of his inner world to the surface—especially as he begins to process things in the new setting.
4. Knowing more about Kaal:
As mentioned above, his deeper self will be revealed soon in the upcoming flashback. It's been part of the plan since early development. That moment will clarify many aspects of why he behaves the way he does, and hopefully make him feel more human and complex.
5. Continuity issue in Chapter 2:
You caught an inconsistency—thank you. That’s on me, and I’ll revise that portion for better narrative continuity when visuals and audio are added. I will do something about the time progression will be made clearer to avoid breaking immersion.
I sincerely appreciate your feedback—it’s the kind of critique that helps me improve the work and make the emotional arcs stronger. I hope what’s coming in the next parts will answer some of your concerns naturally through the story itself.
P.S.
Apologies for the slow response—completely on me. I’ve been caught up with thesis work, which has taken more time and focus than expected. Hopefully, I’ll be able to respond more promptly moving forward. Thanks for your patience!
P.S.2
I truly appreciate comments like yours—whether from you or others. They help me see the story from different perspectives and improve it meaningfully. Don’t hold back from being direct; in fact, the more honest the feedback, the easier it is for me to grow this project. So feel free to add some chili to your salt next time too—seriously! 😄