What I would improve is:
- The game page is that it’s a little bare. Maybe a custom background would help?
- The description is written a bit sloppily, with no capitalization and incorrect grammar. That would kind of turn me away from trying the game.
- I think people are generally more inclined to play in-browser games than to download games. If it’s possible to create a version to play in browser that would help I think
- The game says it’s an RPG but from the gameplay video it doesn’t seem like it is. I would expect more focus on the character/story/dialog etc
But other than that I think it’s a nice start that you have a custom title, include screenshots and a video!