the gunshots and the steady, intense (measured? patient?) music are so fucking much.
inviolet flatly? plainly? stating "my envy and hatred are an extreme no one must know". it's.. it's frightening but also... gentle or maybe careful is the right word? (thinking about the anxiety under the music that's painstakingly careful).
"there is no holiness that cannot be broken like bone" not sure what to even say here... it's true isn't it...
the fucking gunshot again after til death do us part 😭 just so fucking horrific
also: lubricant? nails clean and trimmed? wiping a lube hand on him to be silly? incredible!!!! instantly better than like, almost all sex scenes
but yeah, like, the "time travel" moment of intimacy is so real and moving and loving (and silly at times!)
this is something I have to read carefully, with an open heart, and... I think I have to be willing to be moved/changed....