Hi, Adam here, your cohort mentor. If there's anything extra you'd like me to review, or anything you want to talk about regarding the project, just let me know on Discord.
- Playability
The prototype features working movement and an interact control, as well as dialogue that includes the ability to pick options. Visual assets are already implemented and look coherent, although colliders haven’t been fully set up and the overworld is too big, making it feel bare. There’s a slight bit of awkwardness with interact being on the “e” key but “enter” being the continue; it’ll feel more fluid if it’s just one button. Overall this is a good place to be in at this stage.
- Promising Idea
Simple idea (short pokemon-style story game centred around an investigation), where the writing will have to help it stand out. The setting could be fleshed out more, but the plot hook of a data centre is novel and your research seems a good start to do this justice, although the current dialogue is overly simple. Proposed mechanics (simple quests, hidden areas, bookshelves, locks, three different collectibles, branching dialogue) have a good amount of range for a project of this scope, adding simple interactivity to keep the player interested through story beats. Make sure though that these mechanics are woven into that narrative rather than tacked on.
- Use of themes
I think the choice to highlight the damages of data centres is both highly pertinent and interesting. It allows for a small-scale, local story that still has huge implications for accelerating climate-related disasters and could help players reframe their understanding of the hidden costs of technologies that are becoming worryingly common. Through the proposed investigation and the book mechanics, the game will be able to give depth to this topic and tackle misinformation. I think the choice to have the centre hit by a wind storm is a good way to tie more specifically back to this years theme, showing an interplay between your object (data centres), how it worsens crises, and how it’s then in turn affected by them.
Currently, the writing isn’t quite there to really push this theme though, and will need to be expanded a lot during production to feel deeper and involve the player more. Both more characters and more nuance will be needed.
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, Call to Action
I don’t doubt that, as it’s the object the story revolves around, the player will leave with a greater understanding of data centres and their harms and risks, and you also begin to explore what a player might go on and do with that information through the leafleting/town meeting (though your design document doesn’t iron out a specific stance to take on the AI that the centre powers, which could lead some to leave with an attitude of data centres being a necessary evil for now).
I think to improve the quality of the CTA, your quests to collect opinions could model collaborative approaches to climate justice (and mutual aid); speaking, listening, and addressing concerns without condescension is also a key part of union organising. Another idea, that I think you're already hinting towards, is that you have to organise another local group meeting to successfully apply pressure to the mayor/data centre. This could involve a bigger focus on discussion and persuasion and take the onus away from the player acting as single saviour prompting others to action. Here is the points of a successful meeting which professor David Spade (Mutual Aid, p. 97) provides, which might help you think about the dialogue for such a scene:
“Giving new people a chance to share why they care about the issues and came to the group—many people are seeking to break their own isolation and find a space where they can be heard and be part of a shared understanding of the root causes of injustice
- Making meeting discussions as accessible as possible to the new people by providing a background of the problems the group is addressing and the group’s activities so far; avoiding jargon, acronyms, and overly technical theoretical language.
- Giving new people a chance to share ideas, even if the group has thought about those ideas before.
- Making the group’s facilitation process transparent to new people so they don’t feel lost about what is going on or being discussed.
- Making sure someone follows up with each new person after their first meeting to find out if they have questions, how they want to plug into the work, and if there is anything that would make the group more welcoming to them.
- Making careful decisions about agenda items and activities at meetings focused on orienting new people, since some detailed group discussions that need to happen about ongoing work might not be the most accessible to newbies.
- Helping new people plug into a clear role or task as soon as possible so they feel a part of things”
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, Reasonable Scope
The visual style chosen (2D, pixel, top down) is a reasonable choice for the scope, and the decision to use pre-made/bought assets has removed a main delay risk so you can focus on the narrative development during the production sprint. Overall, I think you will be able to complete this project to roughly the size and scope laid out in your plans, though certain elements like the hidden areas are not fleshed out here.
- Well Planned Production
The provided timeline is just a list of tasks. While this doesn’t provide an indication of organisation, priorities, or expected timeframes, as said above I think it’s achievable.