Overall, not bad, but there is room for improvement.
Most of the h-scenes feel the same, going about 4 or 5 times in a row, she's always "losing her mind," and (for me) too much of the ahegao face. It is almost every girl, every time.
What is the point of a harem if they all seem like the same (barring visuals)?
Also, you don't need a "a few moments later" screen for every transition. Let the writing speak for itself. If a character says, "We should be there by nightfall." Then the next screen can just be them arriving at night. We (the audience) will understand the implied passage of time. Save specific transition screens for large jumps, like when the story jumped ahead a few weeks while they were dealing with the dungeon outbreak (that worked very well).
There is a lot here that is good, and could be great. And of course, this is just one person's opinion; take it for what you will.
No matter what, keep going, keep writing, keep creating. :)