This was a fun one to read! Your writing prose gave me strong gothic horror vibes and I really like modules that mash together two seemingly contrasting genres to make a memorable concept. My scoring is a bit tough on this pamphlet admittedly, but it boils down more to personal preference for what I like in trifold pamphlets more than anything. I still think it looks and reads really well regardless.
Polish - 4/5
Simple but visually appealing formatting, love the purple color scheme. Writing comes off as almost like an old horror story sometimes, not what you'd typically expect for Mothership but it's a fun juxtaposition that would make it very memorable if hard to place in your average game. Screams to me to be used as a Halloween one-shot! Points knocked off mostly because the writing that's present is a bit dense and difficult to parse for information relevant to running it, and while I feel the spread art that takes up the inside looks great, it seems like you're trading a lot of usable space that'd be more useful for providing scenario relevant information that I think is lacking in other sections.
Favorability - 3/5
Admittedly it comes off a bit too slow burn for my tastes, but I like how fantastical and mythical the concept feels in comparison to the usual expected influences for sci-fi horror. This relates to usability issues, but my favorite trifolds tend to be ones that are easy to parse at quick glance and could be run relatively easily as-presented in a pinch.
Usability - 2.5/5
So the core concept of an ancient vampire who is trapped in a pit and is terrorizing a sci-fi mining colony is great. Love it. I get a good feel for how I'd play this tone wise just from the style in how it's written and how you describe events leading up to the eclipse. The big reason I rated it low for usability is because to run this I'd have to do a fair amount of prep on my own prior to play for the average trifold in order for it to feel satisfying I think. A rough timeline of events is definitely there but leaves a lot of questions and space that'd need to be filled:
- Players are stuck here for a month while they wait on ship repairs. Seems a bit long since the adventure seems like it'd take place mostly across two days, but it's a good excuse as to why players would be looking for work/get involved.
- They hang out in Emerald City and notice how superstitious and paranoid the locals are, probably end up hearing rumors about the Hell Pit and its monstrous inhabitant. Part of me wants to ask, "well why do they get involved?", but the Warden in me usually just says, "because this is the adventure I decided to run tonight, get involved" so that's not really an issue imo.
- They meet the scientists at the Observatory and learn about the eclipse happening in two days. I get from Kyle's Testimonial that presumably the song sang by the vampire is very intense during this period, and a swarm of bats attacked them during it, but it kind of sounds like what the vampire already does normally when it's night-time? It just doesn't feel like a strong enough ticking clock to have much pay-off as written unless modified.
- They presumably join the scientists on their expedition, run into bat/rat swarms, maybe catch a glimpse of or get to talk to the Vampire. I'm assuming the path of a crew who decides they want to fight her somehow, limping away back to Emerald City to come up with a plan.
- I feel like blowing up the hell pit would be an immediate no-go for most crews, the stakes don't feel high enough that potentially destroying the colony to kill the vampire is worthwhile. Outside of the miner's sleep walking towards the pit, it doesn't feel as if the vampire is a terribly active threat. I could see bewitchment being used to make miners attack the players, but there needs to be a bit more implied in the text in my opinion. The vampire will grow stronger and attack other settlements, it'll create more of its kind, there will be a permanent eclipse, etcetera.
- This more or less forces a direct confrontation of some kind. Her weakness is ultraviolet radiation but the description present implies the entire society lives in a subterranean cavern. I suppose I could describe cracks of sunlight breaking through, but it feels like it'd be tough for a crew to figure out a solution unless I gave them a lot of leeway in the resources they had available and was very transparent about this weakness after they finish the expedition.
- Alternatively if the crew decides to sympathize with her, I have a hard time seeing where the adventure would go. Either the players do it without realizing initially she just wants to eat everyone, then end up trapped by their new "friend", or they could become vampires I suppose?
Theme - 3/5
The subterranean mining colony mixed with the hell pit concept does a solid job at reinforcing the theme of the game jam, although I feel like more flavor could have been added in regards to the colony itself and what the Hell Pit is physically like to traverse through. Feels mostly focused on the vampire, which by itself doesn't mesh with the theme as well.