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(1 edit) (+1)

An excellent period piece.

 

In summary: this is a charming, sentimental but enticing exploration of the Unconscious, as well as the Surreal in general. It resonates with me most palpably for how it reaffirms the underlying Reality of Dreams in our Waking World. More clinically, it paints a believable picture of the Animus, in both its positive and negative manifestations, as well as making speculative reference to the Collective Unconscious which is ominous in its verisimilitude.

 

Some more observations follow:

 

  •  “out of the clouds and into a dating app”: priceless irony.
  • Thank you for spelling “caffeine” properly. HA!L the CAFÉ.
  • Nice use of sound effects. I immediately remembered the Literature Club.
  • Okay, O.K. I just saw the first image of your dream boy. You wear your influences on your sleeve. Looks kind of like a Kandinsky, too.
  • “You’re not saying anything? I suppose you agree.” Your depiction of villainy certainly echoes modern apprehensions. Way to keep things topical.
  • The first riddle was easy enough.
  • The walkthrough feels tense and immersive, as well as surreal.
  • The Old News was charmingly nostalgic.
  • I am LOVING the P.K.D. reference. (the author, not the disease.)
  • PHOBETOR: “Kira desu.”
  • Appropriate appropriation of Greek. Somehow Western English-speakers seem to learn more about Classic culture through Japanese renditions than by direct tradition.
  • “We’ll see what wins: the blind stumbling of ‘true love’ or the calculated moves of the nightmare realm.” Oh? There ever was a difference? MUAHAA.
  • I like the mirroring technique. It really helps to mislead.
  • The strongest moments in the text were the brief, alliterative ones.
  • A “queue” is a line, usually of ordered variables, especially people waiting for something. A “cue”, conversely, is an imperative gesture meant to signal further action.

Jane is certainly the strumpet if she has a whole queue of boys waiting for her. I must infer your meaning to be the latter of the two.

L.J.

(+1)

Wow, thank you for the detailed feedback! I'd just finished reading a book on the basics of Jung before this, but I hadn't actually realised how much of it had seeped into the story!

I've got a build on the way with some spelling/grammar corrections, so I'll pop that one in, thanks for finding it. :) 

Which ending(s) did you get? 

I got 4/5!! Does that make it a B-? Haha.

L.J.

Post-scriptum: I should love to invite you to the Dream Jam!! Its duration is the month of April, starting tomorrow. Come take a look, in case you haven't yet, and spread the word to fellow surrealists and psychonauts!!!

https://itch.io/jam/dreamjam2020

[({L.J.)}

(+1)

Nice! Haha! That seems to be the most popular ending so far.
That looks really interesting, but coming off the back of one game jam straight into another probably isn't good for my sanity! Let me know if you run it again though. :) 

Sure thing, Amesy!! Just so you know: one of my most talented collaborators would often slide from one project to the next, with stellar results, but different genius is conveyed by different avenues. As writers we must remain in our respective elements. That is why I have given participants one month for this one. You have time to let it stew in the back of your mind. It's a very flexible event. I know that, personally, I find that if I don't follow up one success with another then I fall into a depressive rut. But that's a matter of temperament. Do what feels sane, and listen to your Heart. Looking forward to seeing more great stories come from you.

[({L.J.)}]