Alright then, these are some that I noticed.
Most of the missing commas are right before a form of address:
Get in here, lad.
Come along then, darlings.
Wait here, loves.
Would you, dear?
Come along, boy.
You'll be back, right?
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Also found another typo:
Should be "The Scion fidgets".
Sorry if this is too much or too pedantic! Wanted to reiterate that this was a very sweet story :)