you need to decide if the mc is smart or completely fucking braindead.
the ping ponging back and forth between him being competent one moment and then in the next scene doing something completely retarded is way too much.
I've not finished the current version yet, but the mall and the interrogation are too dumb, and if they are just bad jokes like I assume they are they go on for too long as well, they're too jarring, and out of character from what we'd seen before them
adamantly assuming the clothing store sold drugs just because Lis promised a treat there that wasn't food, if it was just a couple of lines then it would pass as a little "misunderstanding" joke but it went on WAY too long
then the entire opening to the interrogation with so many slaps and over the top aggression, the first one as a nervous mistake was like "wtf lol" kinda thing but then it kept happening and then the fact both mc and claire let each other's names slip despite claire specifically saying not to use each other's names as the only rule to follow seemed like way too much of a dumb mistake for either of them especially claire (I'd also personally say the kelly workout joke dragged on a little, and was out of place cause the scene was finally taking itself a little seriously as a seperate critique)
a slip up doesn't make a character stupid it's continuing to make the same mistake that makes them appear dumb, which is why it's mostly the length of the jokes that messes it up imo, he should've understood sooner with the clothing store, and he should've calmed down after the first slap, as for the name thing I can accept it as getting too relaxed after getting their answers, but I feel like claire atleast should have realised the moment she slipped or something rather than mc having to dream remember it, considering that it seems like she's supposed to be some experienced badass and all
handwaving bad writing just cause it contains porn is lazy, plus if I just wanted porn I'd look up porn not a story driven game that includes porn
those 2 scenes just really bothered me because they weren't funny, went on for way too long, and contradicted the main character is supposed to be smart and the game constantly reminds you he's smarter fir being a lune but he's always an idiot (I'm not a fan of "smart" characters in general cause it's normally just obvious shit that everyone else doesn't realise to stroke the ego of a fictional character)
I'm also tired of the constant interruptions as an ongoing gag since I don't find it funny, it interrupts the flow of the story, and isn't used tactfully. it's clearly just the writer doing whatever they think is funny but atleast it isn't contradicting the story
it also bothers me that everyone just talks casually in public about things that are supposed to be closely guarded secrets, like there is a secret organisation out to kill all lunes that you're trying to hide from but you constantly talk about how you're a lune just walking the street and in restaurants, like tf are you trying to get yourself killed? aren't you supposed to be smart? isn't claire some experienced badass who should know better?
those things are easily ignorable, the two things I complained about originally were bad jokes that felt completely out of place and lasted for way too long to even work as jokes, I should have worded it less aggressively in my first comment but at the time I tabbed out after the interrogation to complain cause this character I'm constantly told is supposed to be smart is doing the dumbest shit I've ever seen, and had it continued like that I would have dropped it, cause again if I just wanted porn I'd look at porn but I come to vns for something with an actual story, and I'm 99% sure people don't make like this just to be porn because that's a whole lot of effort for no reason, sure some are just porn but I don't really get those cause as the creator it's alot more effort than making a comic or video and as a player it's way to involved for fap material so just handwaving it as porn when they're clearly trying for something more than that is a bit inconsiderate to the creator
god it's easy to ramble, that's a lot of words there so...
tl;dr don't be an ass to the creator by saying it's just porn cause the dude is clearly trying to put a good story in there I just feel like they need to learn how to use humour better, cause it was killing the story for me and it's definitely better later in the game
I kind of see where CC is coming from, but I don't think I'm as angry about it. The clothing store thing didn't make sense to me either. But the interrogation I thought was fine. They address saying each other's names in the story. And the slapping kind of made sense just because smart or not, MC is still a kid who learned who he is literally 3 days before, and doesn't have experience yet how to handle such things. It was also addressed in the story that he behaved that way because he saw a lawyer character in a game he and Emi had in common.
