Thank you for your feedback and insight! My story is definitely in need of revision, and I was concerned about the pacing, so I appreciate hearing about it from your perspective.
I'll think about where more overt romance options for Desma can be, and how that will shape the trajectory of the rest of the story. (At the risk of spoilers I just want to add that someone acting unhinged out of nowhere in a story with fantasy elements might not be too wild, if you catch my drift.)
You’re absolutely right that in this kind of setting (and let’s not forget the ridiculous amount of trauma that has to come with growing up like Desma did!!), there Absolutely is a case for her acting this way. It could be perfectly plausible she doesn’t know how to express/process all she’s feeling in a healthy manner. It definitely feels like a cry for help. For me, however, it was just the severity and sudden of it. Feeling it came out of nowhere. (Admittedly: was also confused why a badass assassin like Des would need to set a tent on fire in the first place. If she wanted my guy dead, she could have done it quick and clean and melted into the night lol)
I look forward to seeing those reasons~ And I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my fb/glad it helped! I truly do think this IF has amazing bones (again: *Obsessed* with the thought of Desma/my MC) and wish the best for its future. ❤️
