Post by TheMadMagician in Tales of Wocdes: The Silver Protector comments

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Very good IF, definitely one of my favorites.

So, I just finally got the chance to read Tales from the Past part 2.
I made this account because there is no other way to communicate,
I found some minor grammatical errors and things that appear Typos, I did found more in the main game and part 1, but at that time I didn't screenshots, if I read it again in the future I will try to do it.

I just hope I don't sound too annoying.

1st screenshot:
*He gestured to the window.
*there is too much of it.

2nd screenshot:
*He thought it might [...] ...Close. (2 typos)

3rd screenshot:
*Maybe it was just his mother. (2 typos)

4th screenshot:
*but his mother and the tailor (I can imagine you first wrote the tailor and his mother and then changed it, but forgot the first "the")

5th screenshot:
*and no new ones with the requiered modification were available ind Dahim or the closest Villages. ("with the requiered modifications" should not be in the end of the sentence).

6th screenshot:
*His mother and father
*Of (this is a thing I saw many times, simple if you remember "after dots always capital letter" except for colons and semi-colons).
*Yes...? (even if he doesn't end the question).

7th screenshot:
*came into his view. (Which you later use too, under my understanding giving into someones (well, Dahim is not someone, but you know) view means something else).
*They were far above the trees already.

8th screenshot:
*what bare skin she had, and (you only talk about Mara being touched by snow, I am not sure if you are or I am wrong, because I understand that you make us understand that both show a bit of skin, but then again, you were writing about her).

9th screenshot:
*Hovered
*(One dot too much) When
*Not really sure how to correct that one.

10th screenshot:
*Baths

11th screenshot:
*Are you...?
*I want you to think about what you (do) actually want instead (the "do" after you is not necessary, but could be useful to put emphasis, making the question sound stronger).
*... Well
*... And

12th screenshot:
*... Pointy
*To see how she would react if he touched. (Or at least I thought you meant Havard touching Mara, not Mara touching herself).

13th screenshot:
*... And (two times)
*... Certain

14th screenshot:
*... Will
*He heard faint footsteps
*was well, when (I think it at least sounds better with a comma).

15th screenshots:
*... They

16th screenshot:
*The way his father said it made it sound simple (or many other variants, you could even: "It all sounded simple, the way his father said it" or the same but changing order "the way his father said it, It all sounded simple". Whatever you prefer here).

I made a visit to the tumblr, I saw you wrote very interesting things there, saidly I don't have account there, and not sure about making one.

Now, have a nice day.

Tales Of Wocdes260 days ago (2 edits) (+2)

Thank you for taking the time to do this :D Feedback is always welcome!

Firstly, people just scrolling by: Do not click "View rest" on the above post unless you want a lot of screenshots of text from a bonus story :D

Secondly, I have fixed most of these, though I have not updated the demo. The pdf version of the story in kofi still has all the typos, I might fix that later.

Edit: I updated the demo :D

Though I have to say, the "..." thing is probably in there a thousand+ times, so I am not fixing all of that right now for part 1 and the main demo :D And I can see part 2 still has lots of those too.

The "...", I try to use it to mark hesitation/thinking but I think I do it too much. It's really a problem, I do it in my emails irl now too.

Thirdly, there is an email in the game description that you can use for things like this, if that is preferable.

Fourthly, the blog does contain a lot of snippets etc. based on asks. Other stuff too, but those tend to dominate. There is also just one big file where I dump the asks and the snippets (all of them), available through kofi for supporters. Though, I have to say that it is a nightmare of chaos, typos and grammar. I might sometimes fix minor things in the blog, but I usually just leave whatever the "first draft" was in the pdf file.

Thanks again, and have a good day!

TheMadMagician259 days ago(+1)

Indeed, I should have warned about the many screenshots.

The "..." weren't too much for me, I understand what you mean, but as long as you limit it to thoughts and dialogs, it is fine.

And yeah, I did read some of the asks, some even were questions I had too, sometimes the answer itself made me think new questions. For example (do not read if you care for possible spoiler): the one where you answer if the hands will be completely cured, this one made me theorize that if the mc has a heritage with long lived species, like dragons or elves, that they could probably life longer too, then after some centuries, like 300 years (maybe even less than a century if they treat their hands daily? Which would not be in the IF) that the hands could be fully healed. But that are just theories I like to think about. I tend to be very passionate with things I like, thinking many possible theories.

I had more, maybe if I make an account for tumblr one day, I will send some asks.

itch.io

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