Is there anyway to get closer to our roommate? I've been trying and it's confusing me
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The roommate is kinda hardwired to hate you, unfortunately. You can always cheat to get a positive relationship with them, but they still won't really want to hang out with you or be your friend because they're a Special Character, and their role in the story is set to be antagonistic. Maybe one day there will be a storyline to befriend them!
You can have a positive relationship with the roommate if you are dating them. But you can't date them without going through the roommate's partner questline (and I think it requires also dating the roommate's partner? not quite sure about that part). In any case it would be a dom/sub type relationship.