Great work as usual Mimico (and co)! I do think I enjoyed this game a little less than your previous one, but I can still see the passion and effort and I know to respect that. (It might seem like a lot of negatives, but trust me, I enjoyed the game a lot. I just personally focus on ways something can be improved and that’s why it might seem like I’m trying to bash the game when I’m not.)
First what I liked:
1. The production quality is once again of a high level. There are a lot of visuals, the music fits well and the movement and animations use the engine to its fullest. I also love the title screen and UI designs.
2. The writing is clear, concise and with a proper pace. It’s very easy to get through the game and keeps you immersed in the experience.
3. The twist in the bad ending is very clever and well executed. I knew the devil was going to betray me (because, you know, he's the devil), but the precise act and its unnecessary cruelty surprised me in the best ways. At the same time, it doesn’t feel completely out of left field and clearly makes me feel like I got cheated and that I was an idiot for not seeing it coming. (Personally, I expected that I would trade my life for my daughter’s, so witnessing something so close to what I was expecting but much worse was horrifying in the best way)
4. The good ending was very nice to read (especially since I experienced that one last), even if I found it a little hard to believe that the main character simply got away. It’s nice to see the main character getting rewarded for doing the right thing after going through so much. It was exactly what I needed after so much misery.
Here's what didn't work as well for me:
1. The final test in the evil route isn't much of a choice. It makes sense that killing the man isn't an option in the good route, but not having it as an option for the bad one takes away the aspect of it being a choice. If the point is that it’s no longer a choice and that the main character just watches it all fall apart, then that could work, but then it should not have been a timed choice and there should have been some more description of how the main character feels a strong compulsion he can’t control (or something along those lines).
2. The choices during the zombie section are not always a matter of deliberately spreading despair but instead are about survival ethics and situational judgment. In some cases it’s almost impossible to know what the good (or evil) choice is. This is not a problem on its own and suits the setting, but it conflicts with the section’s main aim of spreading despair on purpose.
3. Having the scenarios take place in alternate timelines is great for creative freedom and prevents plot holes, but it does carry the risk of reducing the weight of these moral decisions. Personally, there were times where I’ve wondered if what was going on was even real instead of some hallucinogenic test of character. On top of that, it feels easier to ruin these people’s lives when you don’t have a history with any of them. This can work, but I’m not sure about it for the next reason.
4. The tone is generally light hearted but the situations are surprisingly serious. It’s a tough thing to balance and I’m honestly not sure how I would do it differently, but I was left feeling like there was a disconnect between the grave situations the main character finds himself in on the one hand and the casual banter and gamey aspects on the other. Combined with the previous point and the more serious tone towards the end, this makes it hard to know how you’re supposed to feel about what’s going on. Another part of this might be that the evil deeds are not quite ridiculous or petty enough to be funny, but I’m not sure if changing that would fix it.
I think most of these problems could be remedied by addressing the final point below, though:
5. I think you might have prioritized the quantity of situations over their quality, but this could also be personal preference. I think it might have worked better to see just how much you can and are willing to ruin the life of one single person in exchange for your daughter. This might also make the comedic angle easier since there’s going to be a point where the amount of suffering one person goes through just becomes ridiculous. Imagine subsequently getting fired, broken up with, evicted, run over, run over again just because, having one of your shoes stolen, etc. If you do this, you might also get more of that feeling of having reached a point of no return and that stopping now would make everything pointless. I think this might also be why I liked The Hidden Gift more; it was more personal, even in its sub-stories.
You can’t change that now, of course, but it might be something to consider for the future. I understand that your preferred kind of story is one consisting of smaller ones (in this one, as with The Hidden Gift), but it could be worth thinking about the degree of emotional investment from the reader for your next project. Then again, just because the rapid fire decisions didn’t work for me doesn’t mean they won’t for anyone else.
And just to reiterate: you really did a good job! I’m simply hoping to provide a different perspective and I can only encourage you to keep making these games. As a final comment, here are two technical bugs I encountered:
1. The coin counter stays the same after loading or rolling back a decision. I imagine that probably wasn’t intended.
2. I let the timer run out during the final choice and it took me back to the zombies.