aaaaa thank you very much for leaving such an in-depth review!!
Unfortunately, the 18+ scenes are not my main priority right now, and as such, I've put them on the back burner while I focus on the actual game itself. Because of this, these scenes are extremely basic, linear, and don't offer much in terms of lore or narrative progression.
Also!! All the 18+ scenes depend on Day 1's 18+ scene because I didn't want to copy and paste the same "Is this your first time?" dialogue over and over again. I want every encounter with Ren to feel unique, so using the same text honestly feels like a cop-out to me. But when I do go back to working on the 18+ scenes, I'll be sure to keep your suggestions in mind!
And I understand that most of the 18+ scenes feel very cliche to you, and it's likely because it was the first time I've ever written an 18+ scene in my life lmao ^^; I was also an active fanfic writer/reader before I created 14DWY, so a lot of my writing experience came from the content I consumed on Ao3, Tumblr, Quotev, etc. (weirdly enough, I never got into Wattpad gjdsjh) Because of this, my writing style leans a certain way, and I guess it shows in most of the scenes in 14DWY. So I'm very sorry if you find the 18+ dialogue cringe!! But right now, I don't have any plans on changing them as... that's just how I write ;v;
On the topic of cliche-ness... Ironically, 14DWY is supposed to mimic those stereotypical and over-the-top dating sims! I mentioned this somewhere in the comment section over a year ago, but 14DWY is intentionally supposed to come across like a cliche, cutesy visual novel — before it gets darker and more gruesome as the game progresses. So while the 18+ scenes reflecting this were a happy coincidence, I currently don't have any plans to rewrite the main scenes in 14DWY either.
Regarding your suggestion about the muttering: this is also something I'll keep in mind for the future! But I do want to quickly highlight the fact that Ren is supposed to come across as a bit eccentric at times. The mumbling under his breath is part of his characterisation, and if I made his words even more vague than they already appear, I feel like the original intention would be lost on the players. I want him to say weird/random things to remind people that he is supposed to be a yandere at the end of the day gdshjgsd
With all that being said... Thanks again for your kind words and feedback! I appreciate it very much ^^