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(1 edit) (+2)(-3)

good points: Amazing game!! i love ren and the whole aesthetic of the game! specially the customization and the whole glitching thing (the sound of the letters scratches my brain real nice)

i also LOVE the art and how all the girls are so sweet😭🫶🏻 


 SPOILERS



i also really like how ren “talks” in the dead ends, i think it makes the game much more interesting! the red letters! how the letters shook and the “jumpscare” of the “it” thing ren refers to? i REALLY like it><❤️




bad points/suggestions: what really setts me off the most is the writing, sometimes it’s really cringey, SPECIALLY the nsfw scenes—it felt like a wattpad story, and how most of it happens with a black screen i think it emphasizes that, i couldn’t even imagine anything because it was very…bland, and the “dirty talk” is really, really, bad, it’s very standard and sometimes plain embarrassing (and not because it has sexual undertones lol). I think giving more details, images and richer words would make it better. If you look up some nsfw romance japanese games you can see that some doesn’t even have a lot of “””vulgar””” language, but its detailed and they describe a lot of emotions/feelings which gives the readers a feeling of immersion and butterflies on your stomach haha (but that’s just my opinion!)

what really made me look it up was the romance, nsfw and yandere part (which i dont know many games with such categories together) which is why i was kind of disappointed:( i like the overall story and the designs, as well as the choices! but the writing feels very forceful and simplistic, specially the ones with her friends from college and ren, honestly the best and not forced/cringe talks/relationships in my opinion was with teo and all the girls.

again to the nsfw part, why can’t we “active” that feature unless we do it on the first day? my suggestion is that we can trigger it even on other days too! it even feels more natural:)

also, maybe you can add a small reminder that when you’re picking certain choices it will affect ren’s appearance? or major changes? (not story related of course, only regarding appearances or the way you’ll be perceived)

i don’t know if it’s because it’s still a demo but ren doesn’t really feel like a yandere to me, only a clingy boy tbh (or maybe that’s just your intention haha) 

also, it’s not a bad point but i think making us readers know about what he’s muttering about while the mc doesn’t kind of takes the “suspense” and immersion out of it? it’s just a suggestion but i think it would make the players more interested if you let them know JUST some words of what he’s murmuring (ex: i think…that…pretty…) or something like that lmao it’s a pretty shitty example but i think you get it? or just revealing what he’s talking about sometimes instead of all the time? maybe write something like “he’s murmuring something to himself” instead of revealing everything? i think it keeps the mystery of the character and makes the readers more curious, but this is mainly my preference:) 



overall: i really like the game actually! specially considering how its for free:) thank you for making this^^ i can see it has a lot of effort put it in it!! i think my main problem would be with the writing but that’s just my opinion, please don’t think i’m offending you or anything!!!😭 it’s just some things that has been on my mind while i played^^ thank you for your hard work!! i’ll def play your full game too!! please don’t feel pressured and take care of yourself <3 (sorry for any mistakes english is not my first language)

(+4)

aaaaa thank you very much for leaving such an in-depth review!! 

Unfortunately, the 18+ scenes are not my main priority right now, and as such, I've put them on the back burner while I focus on the actual game itself. Because of this, these scenes are extremely basic, linear, and don't offer much in terms of lore or narrative progression.

Also!! All the 18+ scenes depend on Day 1's 18+ scene because I didn't want to copy and paste the same "Is this your first time?" dialogue over and over again. I want every encounter with Ren to feel unique, so using the same text honestly feels like a cop-out to me. But when I do go back to working on the 18+ scenes, I'll be sure to keep your suggestions in mind!

And I understand that most of the 18+ scenes feel very cliche to you, and it's likely because it was the first time I've ever written an 18+ scene in my life lmao ^^; I was also an active fanfic writer/reader before I created 14DWY, so a lot of my writing experience came from the content I consumed on Ao3, Tumblr, Quotev, etc. (weirdly enough, I never got into Wattpad gjdsjh) Because of this, my writing style leans a certain way, and I guess it shows in most of the scenes in 14DWY. So I'm very sorry if you find the 18+ dialogue cringe!! But right now, I don't have any plans on changing them as... that's just how I write ;v;

On the topic of cliche-ness... Ironically, 14DWY is supposed to mimic those stereotypical and over-the-top dating sims! I mentioned this somewhere in the comment section over a year ago, but 14DWY is intentionally supposed to come across like a cliche, cutesy visual novel — before it gets darker and more gruesome as the game progresses. So while the 18+ scenes reflecting this were a happy coincidence, I currently don't have any plans to rewrite the main scenes in 14DWY either.

Regarding your suggestion about the muttering: this is also something I'll keep in mind for the future! But I do want to quickly highlight the fact that Ren is supposed to come across as a bit eccentric at times. The mumbling under his breath is part of his characterisation, and if I made his words even more vague than they already appear, I feel like the original intention would be lost on the players. I want him to say weird/random things to remind people that he is supposed to be a yandere at the end of the day gdshjgsd

With all that being said... Thanks again for your kind words and feedback! I appreciate it very much ^^