The composition here is really good. I'm really enjoying what you're working out here. I think its good that it's your strongest point too - the other skills are more teachable, composition is harder
I think the execution would be the bit that would help you take your stuff to the next level, especially in terms of dynamics of the instruments. They still have that artificial MIDI sound. I hate most midi harps because they absolutely suck at not being really twangy for no good reason, not soft like a real harp. Its like they record the sharpest attack plucks and pitch to that.
The execution isn't bad. If you have a midi controller, it would be a good idea to play it live. Do you play any instruments IRL? Also singing is a great way to insert dynamics.
Great work overall. This track is really cool and well composed. :)