Guys I did it! THERE'S A PLAYABLE DEMO!
It's a mess, I still have more assets to add (they're done but I LEFT THEM ON MY WORK COMP).
So I've...called it quits for this weekend. I'll resume on Monday (and likely finish then too, the art is preety far along) and write a better 'final thoughts' post but for now, enjoy exactly what I was able to complete in two weeks.