The story looks promising however I found typos in the English version, as well as parts which were not translated at all or were translated in a way that felt a bit odd to me (in the sense of arranging the various parts of a sentence in a way that felt a bit unnatural to me).

They did not prevent me from understanding what's going on of course however I'd recommend you double-check the translation in the future, this way as to give your work a more "polished" an ultimately much more enjoyable feel.