Play book
Experiments of Control's itch.io pageResults
Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
Concepts & Originality | #35 | 3.480 | 3.650 |
Adherence to Theme | #38 | 3.337 | 3.500 |
Overall | #40 | 3.210 | 3.367 |
Flow & Clarity | #45 | 2.813 | 2.950 |
Ranked from 20 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Good job overall. The pacing and flow felt a little disjointed at times, the story moves between a fast and slow rhythm that is a little disorienting. Also the initial confrontation between the Ascensionist and 507 left me feeling confused as to what happened. I had to reread it a few times before I understood it completely. The dialogue felt a little stiff, but also it's a master talking to a servant so it kind of works. Still I would recommend a little refinement. The time limit probably didn't help with any of that. All that said your prose is really good. The words blend together and you're able to create some really beautiful scenes and moments. All in all a solid piece, good job.
Some MCU GotG vibes to be had there. At least this genetic manipulation genius actually gave some cares about his specimens.
Thanks for the comment. That is kinda embarrassing and unintended. Looking at it there are way many similarities. LOL
image that came to mind was High Evolutionary versus Aliens, a nice read, thanks for sharing!
Love the idea of the Ascensionist, and their relationship to the ratmen. Lots of good descriptions, too, though there are many places that could have used more description or explanation. I felt like it was hard to follow what was going on between 507 and the Ascensionist. The chase through the maze and their fight was a bit confusing, too. Still, high marks for originality, and a good twist at the end!