Browse GamesGame JamsUpload GameDeveloper LogsCommunity
Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
SalesBundles
Jobs
Tags

OPR Writing Jam #4

Hosted by onepagerules · #oprwj4
33
Entries
915
Ratings
OverviewSubmissionsResultsScreenshotsSubmission feed
A jam submission

Dead-ends and New BeginningsView project page

Submitted by Erfeo (@_Erfeo_) — 9 minutes, 38 seconds before the deadline
Add to collection

Play short story

Dead-ends and New Beginnings's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Adherence to the Theme#54.1434.143
Overall#73.9053.905
Flow & Clarity#103.7863.786
Concept & Originality#183.7863.786

Ranked from 28 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

Leave a comment

Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.

Comments

ConjackSubmitted2 years ago(+1)

A really well do, and suitably eerie, use of the reflection theme. I like it al lot. 

Also we need to know more about the Knightly Brother's retirement plan! 

Submitted
Duty of a Soldier
Reply
ironpinestudiosSubmitted2 years ago(+1)

noooo! he was going to retire!

good story mate!

Submitted
A Question of Peace
Reply
ShaperMakuSubmitted2 years ago(+1)

Loved the concept of cognito-trapss. Well done!

Submitted
Troll Magic
Reply
small_grey_owlSubmitted2 years ago(+1)

This was a very effective use of the reflection theme with a good twist, well written and clear.

Submitted
Glass and Lies
Reply
jamisbuckSubmitted2 years ago

Good use of the theme! I like the unexpected use of the mirror as a trap, and the doppleganger's appearance.

I'd recommend breaking up the large paragraphs into smaller ones, to make them easier to read. It also gives you better control over the pacing of the story.

Aside from that, the story scanned well and the ending was ominous!


Submitted
He Will Uphold All Who Cherish
Reply
ErfeoDeveloper2 years ago

Yeah, I think next time I'm going to try to put the text into the template at an earlier point in the process, to better get a feel on how it'll look and read in the end.

Reply
DrMagisterSubmitted2 years ago

Very nice. I liked the ending, and you got in a good amount of characterisation given how little space there was. To be hyper-pedantic, there were a few minor grammatical errors, but nothing that affected comprehension or the flow of the story.

Submitted
Reflecting on a Bad Situation
Reply
ErfeoDeveloper2 years ago

Thanks. Yeah, there's probably a bunch of mistakes I didn't really have any time to do revisions. I might go back to it after the voting is over.

Reply
AboutFAQBlogContact us
Copyright © 2024 itch corp · Directory · Terms · Privacy · Cookies