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A jam submission

Ghost's StoryView game page

A short story about a ghost solving the mystery behind his death.
Submitted by Lord Kuro — 12 hours, 42 minutes before the deadline
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Ghost's Story's itch.io page

Results

Ranked 114th with 1 vote

CriteriaRankVotes
People's Choice Vote#1141

Team Members
Lord Kuro

Engine
RPG Maker VX Ace

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Comments

Jam Host

Disqualified - Couldn't find quest item early on after looking in every possible spot.

Developer (1 edit)

That's a huge bummer. I really thought I had it working at least at a first draft level. What item was it, so I can make it more obvious when I update it? The others that reviewed it were able to reach the ending, so at least it isn't broken, but it's no good if players get stuck.

Jam Judge

Hi, I was assigned this game. I was enjoying the premise but I got stuck in the fast food restaurant trying to help the guy complete his order. I can't remember now if it was the ketchup or the item you needed afterwards, but I searched all over the place and just couldn't find it. 

Developer (1 edit)

Thanks for the reply. If it was the ketchup, it was in the far left wooden cabinet in the storage room (the room to the right of the kitchen). If it was the resumes afterwards, they were in the dumpster out back (specifically the sprite with the trash bags).

Jam Judge

Ah that was it. It was the resumes I couldn't find. Appreciate the info, sorry I couldn't piece it together on my own.

Submitted

Congrats on finishing your game! I don't think anyone will be shocked that we're already dead given the title, but it was interesting to find out the tale behind it :)

So, forgive me if I'm being patronising, but it seems like this is your first game? At least, there were quite a few beginners mistakes, but luckily they're all easy to fix so I'll just fill you in!

All of the map transfers could probably do with changing. The ones at edges of maps would be better with the priority set to 'below player'. That means you have to step ontop in order to transfer, and just looks better than having it one before the edge. Transfers on doors and things should be same as characters, and directly ontop of the door so that the player had to be facing and moving into the door to trigger it. It's good practise to show a message saying that for whatever reason we can't enter or leave a map right now, for example on your third map in the city on the right. Having a note lets the player know they will be able to head in that direction, but there's still some unfinished business they're missing. 

You've got passability errors everywhere (i.e. I can walk ontop of things I'm not supposed to.) You need to go into the database and edit your tilesets. O means it can be walked on, X means it can't, and stars are things that will appear over your character, e.g. tree tops

The tiles have been used a bit weirdly. Things like cupboards would ideally be one tile down, rather than having them line up precisely on the wall. You can right click and go to quick event creation to make a door with an opening animation move route if you didn't already know. It's a bit weird that we can enter places even though the door has been boarded up.

Next- onto things that I feel could be improved; SPOILERS AHEAD

The menu is default, meaning you've got all that wasted space for skills, equipment etc. I'm entirely unfamiliar with VX Ace and scripts, but I'm sure they'll be something that can help you simplify it and make the game look a bit more polished and purposeful. Although we gain items in the game, we never actually *get* any items. Having items in the inventory can really help the player find extra hints and keep track of where they are, so you might like to add that in.

The scene in the fast food joint could be a little clearer on who is actually speaking. Either facesets, or character names would have been helpful there.

You need to watch out for event progression. After the manager has gone to his room, I can still talk to the worker and hear that the fries are missing. I can also get infinite keys if I keep talking to myself in the well. This is where self switches come in handy ^^

Overall you might need to try to put yourself in the players shoes a little more. It was never quite clear what to do, I spent a lot of time randomly clicking on things not realising I was supposed to leave the room etc. Some more hints and gentle suggestions would not go amiss. On the other hand, you went overboard with the keys. As soon as I picked it up, I was told where the key might or might not go. Unless it's got a label on it, I don't see how Jeff would have known. Things like keys are generally more obvious, the player is going to head for a door first anyway. Whereas something like the ketchup really could have been anywhere, and after getting it, the instruction made it sound like I should place it down somewhere instead of just (as I imagine,) floating it around the worker until he spotted me XD

In the flat, it could have been more obvious that I was hearing memories, the first time, I thought you'd randomly left a girls face in the dialogue. The clashing facesets are a bit offputting too.

There was a typo at the end on the word organised, but other than that I didn't notice mistakes in the dialogue. (Apart from the fact the murderer didn't understand genders but I guess that's part of his crazy personality haha.) I've seen so many games just skip on proofreading, so I give you props for that ^^

I think you did a good job with the visual storytelling/cutscenes as well, especially given the limited resources. I have a few problems with your world logic, why I can't touch people but can use objects, why I was visible at the end etc, but ghosts are a pretty hard concept to use in a game so I understand your choices. You've done really well to make a fully playable game within such a tight deadline, so I hope you gave yourself a pat on the back! 

Developer(+1)

Thanks for all the feedback! This was my first game and my first attempt at anything bigger than a single map in RPG Maker, so I was kind of learning as I went. I want to make an update to fix some issues and plot holes I couldn't beat down by the deadline, so I'll be sure to fix those problems you mentioned as well. The killer calling them 'it' is both because he's nuts and because I've probably seen Silence of the Lambs too many times lol.

smoke weed everyday

Developer

Aaayyy

Developer

All feedback, bug reports, and typo sightings are greatly appreciated!