I finished playing That one celestial night a few days ago, and after sitting on it for a bit, decided to write my thoughts down and leave a review. The idea is to let you know what were the things that were the most noticeable to me, both good and bad. I think this is important because when writers spend too long working on a text, they get lost in it, and that allows for all kinds of unintended things to slip through the cracks and for things to come across the wrong way. So let's see if any of my observations are surprising and/or helpful to you. My wish is to encourage and help, so please don't be discouraged if there's something scrutinised. Making the writer feel bad or bashing is the last thing I want.

Now with this little preamble, let's start at the beginning with observations in chronological order of the text!

The dream intro was very frustrating to me, but that is to blame on other furry VNs, not this one. I don't understand why opening your visual novel with a black screen and vague lines about the protagonist being confused is such a popular way to start a story. It lacks both visuals and a clear direction to let us know what to expect and what story we're getting into. At first I rolled my eyes, expecting another amnesia with a potential portal fantasy premise, but thankfully the game played me good and I was wrong. Once the narrator becomes conscious, the scene is fine, as the imagery used works, the feeling of despair and helplessness comes through, and it did leave me wondering why open with this, it set the tone for what to expect and it made me worry for the protagonist getting to this tragic point later down the line.

The scene meeting Xzavion is the only other scene that felt wonky to me. It is the first scene that was very expository, where Vaniel would exposit about Xzavion and their past in a manner that felt pretty rigid and plastic. It didn't read very elegant, but it does let us know who these characters are and what their past is. It just felt weird reading characters say things like "oh, you always take care of me Xzavion, because I am an orphan and your personality is bright like sunshine" and Xzav being like "of course Vaniel, my best childhood friend, you have bad social skills, so I have to". That entire segment made me think "yup, this is what they mean when they say show don't tell".

What follows is the bizarre rollercoaster where parents are taken out of picture in a dead parents + comatose parents combo so quickly, that I was taken aback. The scene and characters go over it so quickly, and I understand why, but it was so odd. The implications about Vaniel's home life were better, because the narration didn't lay it all out on the table like with the parents.

When they actually get to school and meet the rest of the characters is where the story won me over. There is none of the weird expository presentation of characters like with Xzav. Since the protagonist doesn't know these new classmates, we get to learn who they are together with Vaniel, and it's done through interactions and dialogue that flows a lot more naturally than in the previous scene.

Vaniel's personality starts shining when interacting with Zachary and the rest of the cast. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that "bad social skills" doesn't translate into the usual meek wallflower VN protagonist that keeps spacing out, but a foul mouthed, judgemental, unhinged little goblin who chooses violence every chance he gets. He is so immature at times, so petty and rude to people, but in a charming manner. Him being dismissive towards Zach, but also giving him a chance was nice, and some of his unprompted jabs at Zach made me smile. The fact that he makes Wilson his nemesis cause of chair dibs, and then embarrasses Xzav as soon as he returns to class is just *chefs kiss* You don't have to have the nicest protagonist for them to be good, but they do have to be interesting. I think Vaniel succeeds in doing that.

Everyone is actually kinda nice despite being bitchy though. Vaniel having the most petty vendetta and treating Wilson like his nemesis (only in his internal narration though) worked, but at the end of the day, everyone turns out to be decent and tries to make friends and not come off as a one dimensional buffoon acting crazy for comedic effect. They're quirky and goofy enough, with a dynamic and sense of humor that fits their age and personality, but knowing when to stop keeps them grounded.

The animeish comedy dynamic and simple and striking design (visually each character is tied to one basic colour, and they all have one defining personality trait to start off with) was a good move, because it made it very easy to get a read on the characters, establish a dynamic between them and make them bounce off each other. That, plus everyone having a very distinct name and coloured text boxes, made it easy to keep track of who is who. This isn't a problem with a cast small as this, but I'm mentioning it cause I've seen games with larger casts introduce many characters at once, and it becomes really hard for them to stand on their own and to keep track of who is who.

Another small touch that I appreciate is some of the background worldbuilding. The parts where the characters talk about schools, neighbourhoods, local grocery stores and communities felt very mundane and made the slice of life atmosphere. It's characters and details like these that make a slice of life comedy resonate with me. It's almost a shame this is actually a horror game, since it does slice of life stuff better than many works that actively go for that genre pffff

The two truths one lie game was a very interesting scene. It was a good way for the characters to open up to both the readers and each other, and each round had something unique to bring to the table. Xzavion's started very benign and cute, Wilson's is self absorbed, Zachary's is comically dark where you get a feeling he's morbid and a cosmic chewtoy, and Yaiden's is the most fucked up. It is played for laughs, but that's where the red flags flared up and I remembered this IS a horror game after all. Iit is a shame we never got a round from Vaniel tho!

To conclude, it was a fun, promising first demo. There's some rough parts at the beginning, I'd say the most distracting part was the scene with Vaniel and Xzav walking to school. Other than that, the game has character dynamic that are pretty enjoyable despite them not knowing each other that well and despite the readership not knowing much about them either – that is a strength that I hope the story keeps utilising. The visuals were pretty nice too, I especially enjoy the many little expression changes that characters have, sometimes even a few times during one line. I think it helped humanise the characters and bring them to life.

The only advice and suggestions I have is to do have beta readers to help you with feedback and catch spelling and grammar errors. Other than that, I would suggest finding a critique partner group with other furry VN writers – other writers can give you really interesting perspective and useful feedback. There is an entire server full of furry VN writers with a lot of helpful resources available, if you need them called Furry Visual Novels (or just FVN)

Do what you think is the best for your story, stay focused and don't overshoot the scope! I wish you the best in your writing and developing endeavors, and I am looking forward to the next demo!