I enjoyed the story so far. Nothing mindblowing to be honest but interesting enough to keep me hooked enough, to enjoy it a little.

The good:

JDOR did a good job to show us a good amount of character development. I think thats one of Jdors most outstanding skills and if he is up and about it, he really let me feel a connection to some of the main Interests. To name a few: Evelyn, Ruth and Amber. This three arcs he told very very well. If he or she continues to train this talent he will one day tell us one of the best stories we ever heard about. That I am certain.

The bad:

 Sadly Origin Story had some flaws I have to speak about aswell.

-The girls are a bit bland in the optical department. Not the girls themselfes but the mechic behind things, for example bodytypes.

-I have seen about 15 more or less skinny/slim girls. Thats an awefull lot. For guys like me there was a little bit of eycandy too but the most interesting Characters like Parker and Joana (Which isnt very much to be honest) were treated very cautiously. That means they had not a lot screentime and their story where simple shells but far from beeing enough to keep a guy like me hooked.

-I know you cant please them all, and of course; The Artist allways has the final say bout how things are, but if you write stories for others you have to find good middleway and JDOR didnt manage well to do that. Sry m8.

-I think Lady Steele should have looked like Joana. That would have been amazing but she just was another skinny girl to me, even with all the piercings, the attitude and the tattoos. And Parker? I think JDOR was to shy to speak too much about her in the early stages of the Story. I know this was maybe his plan but this is not enough to keep me for example hooked for more.

One last comment about a girl that could have been more interesting: Lucya. I am very sure she was just another skinny girl just for the sake of not beeing to cliche about having a juicy latina on board, but I think that just was a missed opportunity to spice the optical spectrum of your girls a bit up some more.

The ugly:

(This one might hurt a bit to read about but I have to speak about this:)

-The optical representation of sex was just underwhelming. Maybe a design choice, maybe cuz of the tools JDOR was not experienced enough with, but I havent seen a single animation longer then 1-2 seconds. And that ones were static and stiff. I think there is some training due, in that department. Please. The girls were not sexy, there was no sweat, no mindnumbing posing, no movement. Nothing of that kind.

Thats it.. I tried to say everything respectful enough. I do not like to hurt the writer of this story that has a great potential. By all means I just like to give honest input.

Have a good time guys!