Gallant first IF (I'm guessing it's your first). There's a few mistakes here and there, the most prominent being "When I watched people from afar, I thought they don't know what it feels like."

It should be, "I thought they didn't know what it felt like" to keep in line with the rest of the sentence in terms of tense, or "I thought, 'They don't know what it feels like. '"

Am I overexplaining? Sorry if I'm being presumptuous but I thought it would help. Also, it just broke the immersion factor for me, but the rest of the story was really interesting and drew me back in.

I also reviewed it on the IFDB. Nice work, overall!