My girlfriend got to listen to me to me read this out to her as I played, sitting there behind the computer screen watching me through my camera. We haven't been able to meet in meatspace yet, nor have I been able to fulfill her requests to let her eat my flesh. She piped up every so often to talk about seeing herself in Seralina, and when I met Clair, it wasn't long before I was finding myself in her. From that point on, every question I asked to myself made me break down in tears... What kind of experiences have made us truly most intimate? What did it mean to find the ability to do something (again) that was painful, messy, and bloody, but made us feel loved? What does it mean to see yourself in another's guilt, a life so distance and different from your own but one that bears a wound that matches yours? How does one find the words and actions to convey that, in whatever limited time you might have, because the thought of not being at your beloved's side haunts you immensely?

I cried four times, fuck. I've never had something speak to these feelings with such a depth, and it leaves me with a horrified kind of gratitude.