I think your desire to implement the twist put the narrative focus in the wrong place.

The relationship isn't extensive enough for the self-immolation to have the same weight as whatever would theoretically have gone on before with Pierre and Luc. Instead of texting about some of these elements, they could have met in person to talk. Instead of the work friend being present to obstruct some of the convo, they could have had a one-on-one for more overt bonding. If they met directly at a BDSM club, at least the relationship would have felt sexually transactional, instead of like feeling insufficiently formed to reflect the mirror of the poor relationship with the first lover.

It also could have stood to examine the guilt more overtly, and the continued horniness over the fire IN SPITE of it taking out his lover's life, which we only briefly touch upon with his survival in the hospital at the end before the rushing closure of the game.

I appreciate the story that wanted to be told, but what's present is highlighting all the wrong moments, and makes the outcome strange and unbelievable--not in the choice to die, but in the belief that it could parallel to the backstory when the other similar elements weren't there.

It's difficult to catch that, because you were feeling the story as you meant it, instead of the story that you wrote.

I applaud the idea behind it, but the gap in where the story goes against the path to the intended outcome makes this severely suffer for me. It just wasn't working outside of the twist, and when the fridge logic hits, one can see the gaps all too clearly.