The Martian is back with another instant classic that's so sweet it will rot your brain and tickle your soul. If you held a gun to my head and said I had to rate this game on a scale of one to ten, I'd tell you they need to invent a new scale of measurement for masterpieces like these, and unless you had that scale on hand you'd better shoot me. I was petting my dog while playing this game, and my dog turned into a sandwich, which was perfect for the bottle of Hellmann's Italian Herb & Garbic Mayonnaise Dressing that I ripped out of my now manly chest that formed as a result of the awesomeness of this game's clever writing. The character of Zac Jr. is an example of exceptional characterization that will leave you tingling for more, and the moral of this story is one I think virgins everywhere will appreciate. The music is a feast for the ears, suitable for a game about candy and other treats.

Play this game if you haven't already, or my people will contact your people, and you will know true fear.