The story was good and I like some of the characters. 

One huge problem for me was transitions. There are none and it made the game hard to get immersed into. A simple dissolve transition would have worked wonders. 

Another thing that could have helped the game is if the story and characters had a little more extra stuff that wasn't just related to the main story. Character and world building through dialog and side events would have made this much better.  

I did still enjoy the game and would play another by this creator. I think they have great potential.