So ummm... I've been on itch.io for like almost two years and I've never really commented or anything but I feel like it's high time that I do. (It took a lot of debating with self because I'd rather not put myself out here but the creator is so passionate and well...) So ummm... I'm enjoying the game so far. The art, characters, music, the dialogue and script are all amazing. I really look forward to the finished game. That being said, ummm there's some stuff you might want to fix. On Week 6, Day Thursday, Lunchtime, everyone is present and gathered for luchtime (tho no one seems to eat anything at lunch aside from Syd, lol).
I take a moment to explain to Jayda that Steph lent me a book.
Jayda: Mind if I borrow it after Sydie, Stephanie?
Syd: Of course, you're more than welcome to.
I think Steph was supposed to be the one to say this. Also, Jayda moves forward, completely blocking out Stephanie in this scene. IDK if that's a foreshadowing or something and if it was meant to be on purpose, but if its aim was to make me lie back and and make me have DokiDoki Literature flashbacks, then spot on.
Stuart then also says, "That or to finish up or touch-up or projects". I think that should've been 'our' projects.
Those minor details aside, and since I'm already making this post, I'll mention some other even more minor stuff that are more personal than technical.
I feel like the background art (that's drawn) are better than the background taken from photos. (Ex. the art for the background and character when Syd lent Jayda his jacket). The photographic background are still cool though, and serve as really good sceneries. It's just that on some instances, where it's supposed to be late, the lighting is bright enough to still be considered mid-day. An exception was when we got to Maisy's house at evening, the sky was purple and orange so that was a nice detail. Um, the characters pop out because of the bold coloring and I really like it (it's like straight out of a comic book). An example would be the luchtime scenes. The characters wonderfully blend in the background, without making us overlook them. Sometimes though, especially on scenes with Maisy, it feels a little forced, like the colors are too saturated so it clashes with the background. Also, the art with Jayda was wonderful but I think the part where Syd plays video games with her and then we're shown a sprite, umm... she's uhhh... p r e t t y umm.. thicc? Sorry, I don't mean to be a weirdo. Anyways, I just think the body structure is a bit disproportionate. I'll uhh... I'll see myself out.
PS. I hope the constructive criticism on the first part of my long message helps you out. Please don't fret and take what I said on the latter half with a grain of salt.
PPS. I love this, especially how the choices affect other characters and how they affect future events. The more it branches out, the more complex and intriguing it is (like The Letter) and I don't really get to play many games that have such diversity and effect on the playthorugh (that aren't abandoned like Queen's Crown). It really shows how much work and time you've put into this and if I had the means, I would send some cash to back you up but... *cries in broke*. I hope you get to continue to do things you're passionate about (without burning out). Thank you so much for this.
Update: When Stuart and Syd talk about Jayda's self-confidence, Syd says, "That's... that's so cruel to herself." This sounds off, like grammatically incorrect. I think "That's... she's so harsh on herself." would sound better (just a suggestion).
II. On the same day, same evening, Syd debates with himself. "... maybe I can't make this decision alone. I can't condemn the other students who tried so hard to failure, all just to help Jayda's ego." I think this will flow better if it was tweaked to "... maybe I can't make this decision alone. I can't condemn the other students to fail when they've tried so hard, all just to help Jayda's ego".
The Neville Longbottom joke was amazeballs.
There's some minor thing around this part and I was going to mention it but I was so caught up in the story that I told myself 'maybe later'. It's now 'later' and I lost it, can't find it. I also thought, 'I shouldn't' because I've already written a long message but here I am, on my 4th edit. *facepalm*
III. Ummm... When we go to the hospital to visit Albie, the term for food from (fastfood) restaurants put in boxes is 'takeout' not 'takeaway'. Also, after that when Syd texts Albie, Albie says "... d'you know anything about it?". The font used was different from the font that shows when Syd is texting and recieving texts.
IV. On week 7, Monday morning, Syd says "Dont tell you guys have retired in your prime already...!". I think it should be "Don't tell me you guys have retired in your prime already!"
V. I've been thinking about it for a while now. The d in Syd's name tag looks a little farther away. It looked like there's a space added to it. I'm not sure tho... Nevermind, Jayda's was the same too. It's probs just how the font is.
Game is still phenomenal. I love the mini tutorials.