Hey Y33n! A couple of things!
Firstly, congratulations for releasing! Regardless of however long it took you, like me it took a couple of years and when I got ready to ship, I bolted and then it transformed the game into something entirely new each time- taking the plunge to release is always the hardest step but you've taken it. Great job! It gets a lot easier from here on.
Secondly, it might be worth creating a sticky thread, that way if you have any questions go on or any particular snippets people want to share, it wont get lost in the void of thread upon thread. Plus; I've also seen it where people have posted reviews on a stickied thread and a lot of people then get intermingling on the boards and discussing- it's really neat to see!
Now; onwards to my next part! The review!
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1.)
The Story & Setup
I really enjoyed the introduction to the game, there's a very strong visceral set-up and I like darker themed games and there's quite a brutal start, now I'm a little curious to the introduction on the MC, as they seem also very disoriented to their body? I'm not entirely sure if that's like a nod to an isekai- as there was comments about no humans, just nonhuman shapes being everpresent or if it's just amnesia? I lean to isekai?
I like that it was almost poetic in parts of the introduction, some very pretty sentences- such as 'A memory, fragile as moth wings.' that I really enjoyed as they cropped up.
I'm very curious to see where this may journey to? I admit, I wish there was more, but I'd much rather you break the glass ceiling of having that first release over it being delayed into a more 'quantifiable' start. This is a good balance, enough to propose a good hook, versus having perhaps too much followup where it doesn't feel as strong of a first swing. Plus, it buys you some time to receive feedback, cook the plot a bit more, make some plans etc. If you ever wanna talk shop, or if you ever want someone to test your work before you release it, I don't mind being a beta reader for you, keep me in mind- as one VN dev to another.
2.)
The Technical Side of things
I like the weaving on the NVL, it's quite different from what you get, maybe even a nod towards older VNs, where something like the way the NVL was used here was more prevalent. It gives it a different kind of rhythm. Now, I've looked through the other reviews and I noticed that they've mentioned the auto text made it so they couldn't read at their own pace. It's valid, and my best advice is that the pacing the player gives usually is the same pace that you have in your mind when you're conveying it in script and play- and when a player gets hooked in on a detail they want to pause and think about, it still preserves your pacing and intrigue and often, multiplies it.
Now, instead of me saying the same thing, I want to add onto that but point at a different thing.
There's certain parts e.g. the club alleyway where the bright neons make some of that white text hard to read at times, and the NVL has no black backing behind it to make it stand out against the CG backgrounds which can dominate the text and that's something, with autoscrolling text as well, it's a challenge and dyslexia, etc. can struggle with things like that.
So. I'd suggest maybe it might be worth creating a black screen that's about like 10-20% opacity that's displayed whenever the NVL tag is used, that way you can still keep the bright neon spaces, and they'll come in full force whenever the NVL isn't progressing, but the shadow behind the text would add a great deal of readability.
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All in all, it's a great introduction/proposal and I'm hoping we get to see more of it. What's the standing on the art side of things, such as sprites and the likes? :3c